Of Straw Hats and Things
by Sesshomarusama3
Summary: A series of short stories dedicated to our favorite Straw Hats as they sail the Grand Line and the New World in search for their greatest treasure. (Will also contain AU's for future stories :) ONE PIECE BELONGS TO EIICHIRO ODA. I OWN NOTHING.)
1. Chapter 1: Dirty Dishes and Fluffy Socks

**A/N ~ Well, I finally caved in.  
**

 **A few months ago, my older brother got into One Piece, a _very_ popular anime, and dragged me into it thinking that I'd enjoy it. I'd steered away from it for a long time now for the same reasons I bet a number of other people had, but I relented and started watching it. Well, now I'm in One Piece hell, and loving it. So here is my first submission to the fandom; another short story series XD**

 **These stories will either be set in a modern AU that I'm planning on writing in full one of these days, or, like with TMNT, things I happen to think of at random times that are within the anime/manga canon.**

 **I hope you enjoy them! I OWN NOTHING. ONE PIECE BELONGS TO EIICHIRO ODA.**

 **(Bear in mind, I'm still getting a feel of how to properly write these characters, so forgive me if there is anything even remotely OOC XD)**

* * *

 **Dirty Dishes and Fluffy Socks**

Now, Sanji's role on this ship – with a small crew of the most disorderly misfits in all the Grand Line – was the cook; he'd prepare only the finest meals for his nakama, occasionally give in to the demands of his boy of a captain for snacks and such, and of course, kick some ass every now and again. And he was fine with that. However, part of that job consisted of protecting his sacred kitchen from the greedy hands of said captain, and the other youngest members of the crew, guarding it hourly like Nami guarded her treasure stash.

And with _that_ job came another, one he _hadn't_ signed up for when joining the Strawhat Pirates, and that was to be a part-time babysitter for the three trouble-making devils. As if Zoro wasn't bad enough, the damn moss-head.

If Sanji were to be honest, he was about ready to call it a day; he'd been somewhat under the weather since that morning, with a light fever and a headache pounding hard enough to split his head in two, but too proud to go to Chopper for help, and the antics of the youngers only worsened both the headache _and_ his mood. But simply throwing the towel in would mean stripping himself of his title as a proud chef.

So instead, he threw _them_.

With a chorus of high-pitched cries, Luffy, Usopp and Chopper were unceremoniously booted out of the kitchen and were sent flying back on the deck of the Sunny, the grass being their saving grace to cushion their fall…sort of.

Above their groans of pain, Sanji yelled "You damn numbskulls set foot in my kitchen before it's clean again, it'll be the last time you're gonna have _teeth_ , you hear me?!"

" _Okay, we're sowy,"_ he heard them whine in reply, faces still buried in the soil, before Sanji stormed back into the kitchen and shut the door behind him. He leaned against it with a sigh, and then surveyed the chaos. It was late in the afternoon, and the Strawhats had finished lunch over two hours ago, leaving dirty plates, pots, pans and cups in a mountainous pile in the sink. Having been otherwise occupied dealing with the usual hurricane of chaos known as Monkey D. Luffy, Sanji had barely the time to even sit down let alone clean.

Worse still, the headache wasn't going away.

Part of the blond wanted to march onto the deck, grab those three by the scruff of their necks and put them to work instead, but the other part remembered that one, they'd only make a bigger mess knowing them, and two, he'd told them to stay out; with a threat like that, the chances of them stepping into the kitchen again were quite low.

Sanji sighed again and rubbed at his aching temples, moving to the table and taking a seat. " _Damn_ _it_ ," he hissed, resting his elbows on the table and letting his face fall into his hands as he closed his eyes, taking in deep, steady breaths. He needed to start cleaning before dinner, but he couldn't find the will to stand up again; he was tired, and his brain was _throbbing_ , and it was probably best if he swallowed his damn pride and went to Chopper –

Before he could stop it, Sanji sank to the table and fell asleep.

* * *

"He's gonna kill us, Luffy, I'm _telling_ you this is a _bad_ _idea_ –"

"What? We have to say we're sorry –"

"Yeah, but he told us not to go in the kitchen again, remember? Otherwise he'll kick our teeth out! I happen to _like_ my teeth very much, thank you! After all, they _do_ compliment my beautiful face –"

"I think Luffy's right, Usopp. We should at least apologize to Sanji properly; he's been working hard all day. Also, he hasn't said anything to me yet, but I think he might be coming down with something, and we only made it worse by making him angry earlier."

"…"

"C'mon, Usopp, don't be a ninny! Come with us."

"Alright, fine, but I'm blaming _you_ if he kicks our teeth out."

" _Shishishi!_ Fine by me!"

"Why the hell are you still _grinning?!"_

With a carefree shrug of shoulders, the Strawhat captain faced the kitchen door, knocked twice, and let himself in. "Sanji!" he announced, making Usopp squeak and scurry behind Luffy in fear of the cooks' oncoming wrath, "We're here to – ara?"

Usopp dared to peek over Luffy's shoulder, and was just as surprised as his captain and the reindeer doctor at what he saw. Sanji, his arms crossed underneath his head serving as a pillow, was fast asleep sitting at the dining table. The kitchen was still in disarray, as if Sanji had forgotten to clean up before taking an unscheduled nap…or perhaps he'd been too _exhausted_ to start, or too _sick_ as Chopper had suspected. And judging by the way his face, somewhat flushed, was creased in pain…

"Sanji!" Chopper gasped, skittering over to the cook in mild panic with Usopp and Luffy only a step or two behind. Chopper leapt up onto the table – hoof prints be damned – a felt Sanji's forehead. "He has a bit of a fever, but otherwise I think he'll be fine," he assured them, and Luffy and Usopp sighed in relief.

"I thought we killed him," Usopp muttered.

Luffy laughed. "Nah, Sanji's _way_ tougher than that!"

"He'd _have_ to be, to deal with a guy like you," Usopp said with a roll of his eyes, then turned his attention to the kitchen. Planting his hands on his hips, he whistled. "Boy, look at this place, it's like a war-zone. It'll take Sanji _forever_ to clean this up before dinner…"

Luffy, Chopper and Usopp shared a glance. They looked down at Sanji, still unconscious and oblivious to his current company, his curly brow furrowed in pain as he slept, and then turned back to each other.

Chopper hopped off the table and quietly hurried to the infirmary, returning in no time with a blanket. Usopp draped it over Sanji's shoulders, Luffy rolled up the sleeves of his jacket, and without a word, the three set to work.

* * *

When Sanji woke up, it was to the sounds of familiar laughter bounding off the walls of the kitchen behind him.

With a light groan, he sat up in his chair, his back sort of stiff, and as the world around him solidified, he quickly noticed two things; he felt a little better than before – his headache was still present but he no longer felt hot and sluggish – there was a blanket around his shoulders, and behind him Luffy along with Usopp and Chopper were –

 _You're kidding me._

Visible eye widening, Sanji bristled with annoyance. "Hey, didn't I tell you three not to –"

He stopped and stared. The kitchen was practically _sparkling_ ; the dishes were gone, the counter-tops wiped, wet rags set to dry, and the floor polished well enough that Sanji could almost see his own reflection. And Luffy, Usopp and Chopper, having the time of their lives, were sliding all over the place, pairs of Usopp's spare socks on the feet as they flew across the room.

Sanji blinked. Had…had _they…?_

"Ah, Sanji, you're awake!" Luffy cried, sliding over to Sanji with a mile wide smile and placing one hand over his forehead. "Looks like your fever's gone down, that's good! Chopper's probably still gonna give you some medicine though, just in case."

Sanji stared uncomprehendingly at his captain. "Uh…did…did you three…?"

Luffy removed his hand and nodded proudly. "Yep! Me, Usopp and Chopper decided to clean up while you were sleeping, to say 'sorry for making you mad earlier'." Then he giggled. "Funny thing, though, Usopp polished the floor _real_ good and now it's all slippery! If you're up to it, put on these fluffy socks and 'floor skate' with us!" He reached into the pocket of his pants and drew out a pair of pink socks, handing them over to a dumb-struck Sanji.

Sanji, at a loss for words, looked down at the socks in his hands, then at the pristine kitchen and Usopp and Chopper holding hands and spinning in a circle, and then at the boy he called captain.

He found himself smiling. The three morons could be a pain, a _curse_ , but hell if he wasn't going to make them the best damn meal of their lives for this, however a simple act it had been.

"Idiots," he said, shrugging off the blanket on his shoulders and folding it up neatly before setting it on the table, and then he proceeded to take off his shoes, slipping on the pair of socks his captain had given him. "You call that 'floor skating'? Let me show you crappy posers how it's _really_ done."

When Luffy grinned, he lit up the whole room, and Sanji decided this part of the job as a Strawhat wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

 **A/N ~ Ah Sanji, we know you love 'em XD Thanks for reading, and more are on the way :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Of Nightmares and Promises

**A/N ~ This is set in a modern AU that I'm planning :) I hope you like it :)**

 **I OWN NOTHING.**

* * *

 **Of Nightmares and Promises**

Ace was a heavy sleeper. This, along with being a narcoleptic, was a fact of which all who knew him could back up with absolute certainty.

It would take more than an alarm clock to wake him once he'd shut his eyes at night – or at any time of the day, to be honest. Some would say even an earthquake, or an atomic bomb going off, would be barely enough to stir him from his slumber as he snored away without a care.

Besides all that, for Ace, sleep was good. Sleep was _awesome_ , and whichever poor soul failed to learn that was bound to learn the _hard_ way.

But when his bedroom door cracked open late in the night, a lone figure tiptoeing into the room on soundless bare feet, approaching his bed to grasp his shoulder and shake him –

"Ace? You awake?"

The young man was awake in seconds.

Slowly opening his eyes, Ace didn't need to turn on the light to see who it was that'd disturbed his rest, and though it was two am and he was tired and had to leave for work in less than five hours, his sleepy smile was warm and inviting as ever. "Hey, bud," he yawned. "What's wrong, you hungry or somethin'? If you are, the fridge is locked and I'm not giving you the key at two in the freakin' morning - "

He trailed off, for the brown eyes that stared back down at Ace were wide and almost fearful as Luffy, clad in only an over-sized t-shirt that looked suspiciously like one of Ace's and a pair of shorts despite the autumn night chill, shook his head, black bangs swaying at the movement however sluggish. "…had a nightmare," he said.

And that was all it took for Ace's smile to vanish before he scooted aside on his double bed to make room for his lanky little brother, who climbed in wordlessly and snuggled against Ace's chest like he belonged there, long arms snaking around his waist as Ace pulled the covers back over them both.

Draping one muscular arm over Luffy, Ace looked down at the unruly curls of his brothers' raven hair. "Wanna tell me what this one was about?"

"...'s not really a question, is it?" Luffy asked after a moment.

"Nope," Ace replied, and he grinned when Luffy tried and failed to stifle a giggle against Ace's t-shirt. "Was it that same 'pirate world' or something different, like the one about the floating guy and the island of monsters trying to kill each other? Now _t_ _hat_ one was pretty cool, I'll admit, though kinda morbid."

"It was the pirate one; I think it happens after I met you in the desert with that princess."

Ace hummed thoughtfully, absently carding fingers through Luffy's hair as though it were second nature. "So, your dreams are linked, huh? What is this, the fifth time it's happened?"

"Seventh, I think."

"This isn't normal, are you smoking with that cook guy behind my back?"

Luffy promptly unwound one arm and punched Ace in the gut for that, hard enough to get a pained _'oof!'_ out of the twenty-year-old, and for all that Luffy was small and skinny for his age, not _nearly_ as built as Ace had become, he packed a lot behind his fist. Still, Ace laughed through the pain, and Luffy was laughing too even as he cussed him out.

Once their laughter simmered, Ace asked, "So what happened?"

Luffy's smile fell like a house of cards, and one hand folded into a fist in the fabric of Ace's shirt as he averted his eyes from his older brother. "…you got captured, by those Marine guys I told you about," he began softly. "You were a pirate too, so they were gonna execute you. I broke in to save you, and I did, and we fought together…but…"

A sudden silence befell the room, and Ace stared at the opposite wall as Luffy trailed off, his breath hitching in his throat. He didn't need to hear the rest of the story to know what'd happened in the end, nor did he _want_ to, because Luffy – his wild, bumbling kid brother with a smile that could outshine the sun – was _shaking_ against him, and he could feel the streams of tears dampening his shirt, and oh god was Luffy having a freaking _panic attack_ –

Ace shifted, wrapping both arms around Luffy in a fierce hug, one hand stroking the back of his head the same way he always did, and Luffy clung onto him like his life depended on it, teeth grinding as he choked back a sob. Luffy used to have nightmares all the time when they were little, some bad enough that he woke up screaming. But this was different. This wasn't about monsters under the bed, or their grandpa throwing them out into the woods to fend for themselves, to face the dangers in the dark...

"It was just a dream, Luffy. I'm right here, got it numbskull? I'm _right_ here," Ace said, low and soothing, hoping that his words would calm Luffy down, get him to stop trembling, to stop crying, to stop breaking Ace's heart. Sure enough, Luffy's breaths slowed, and his shaking lessened, and Ace felt like he could breathe again as the knot in his chest loosened.

"You know I'm not going anywhere, right?" he continued. "I'm not gonna die and leave you on your own, not in this lifetime or any other. You know why?"

He wasn't expecting an answer to that, or any reaction really, but Luffy slowly looked up at him anyways, brown eyes wide and his scarred face wet with tears, and Ace smiled. "Because I made a promise a long time ago, remember; to take care of our ditz of a baby brother. And there's no way in _hell_ I'd break _that_ promise. You got that, stupid?"

And at that, Luffy's tears all but stopped, and after a sniff and a scrub of an arm over his wet face he finally, _finally_ smiled, and though it was wobbly it was _there_ , wide and warm and genuine and full of more love than either of them knew what to do with, and Ace basked in its glow.

Then before Ace knew it, his vision was filled with little brother as Luffy wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled his face to his chest, clinging to his older brother like an octopus and laughing loudly when Ace cried out and started pounding on Luffy's back with a muffled " _Oi, I can't breathe, get off_ _! Piece of crap!_ ", and after a short and very one-sided pillow fight, Luffy finally nodded off against Ace's chest.

Smiling fondly, Ace carded gentle fingers through Luffy's hair, taking great comfort out of the weight resting over his heart, and he decided there was nowhere else on this whole stinking planet he'd rather be other than right here, right now, with his baby brother curled up beside him in that dark room in their small apartment at three in the morning.

For Ace, sleep was good. Sleep was _awesome_ , and he would only get so much of it with how often he worked just to give them a place to sleep at night, food on their table and clothes on their backs. But for all that he was tired and weary, for Luffy, he'd make an exception. Every time.

Unless, of course –

"Luffy, I swear to god, stop _kicking_ me or I'll boot you outta my room."

"Gimme the key to the fridge, then."

" _For the love of GOD - "_

* * *

 **A/N ~ hope you enjoyed that. I love Ace and Luffy so freaking much :'))) )':  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Story Time

**A/N ~ this just came to me because I needed to write some more Strawhats having quality time :) I OWN STILL OWN NOTHING.  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **The Dragon, the Reindeer, and the King of Snipers**

 _'In a land, far, far away, there was once a small and peaceful nation of seventeen million, a place filled with magic and wonder and happiness. Here, humans lived in harmony with the other creatures that wandered the land, like the mighty Dwarves that ruled under the mountain, the merfolk that swam in the lakes and seas, and the woodland Elves and the fairies. For natives and travelers alike, this nation was a safe haven, a land of beautiful springs, warm summers and cosy winters, a place of which even the darkest of days couldn't extinguish its light and purity –'_

"My, that sounds like quite a nation."

"So cool! Are there giants there, too?!"

"What about _pirates_? How can you live in a world without _pirates?_ And what's the _food_ like?!"

"Can you still get drunk off booze in a place like that?"

"Good question. Probably not, it sounds too holy –"

"Forget the booze, that place sounds so pure you couldn't even _look_ at a lady let alone –"

"Speaking of ladies, Nami, would you be so kind as to show me your –?"

" _No. Way!"_

 ** _"Ahem!"_**

"Oh, sorry Usopp."

"Please, continue."

"Thank you, Robin. Now where was I…? Ah, yes…"

 _'However, one tragic day, as the day of the summer festival arrived, a terrible evil of which had been traveling from the vast and dangerous seas beyond came to the nation, and unleashed its merciless wrath upon the land. Fiery explosions burst from the villages, hundreds of screaming humans and Dwarves fleeing for their lives as the creature of death and destruction wreaked absolute havoc!'_

"Oh how _horrible_!"

"Well that's a damn shame."

"I'm with Franky on that one, what a bummer."

"What's the creature?! I wanna kick his ass!"

"Calm down, captain, it's just a story."

"What a terrifying situation! Oh, if _I_ were there I would surely die of fright! Oh, but I'm already dead! _Yohohoho!"_

"Brook, _shh!"_

 _'What was this evil creature, you may ask? Why would it attack an innocent and peace-loving nation such as this? Well, prepare yourselves, for the news is not fit for those faint of heart. This terrifying creature of darkness was…a fire-breathing dragon!"_

 _"NO WAY! A DRAGON?!"_

 _"AWESOOOME!_ Well, not for the village, but still!"

"A dragon, huh? Well _that's_ kinda badass."

"Have to say I agree with the cook on that one; dragons _are_ pretty formidable creatures, not that we've seen any ourselves, though."

"Dragons are _SUUUPEER!_ But why the hell would it attack a village?"

"Why don't we all listen to the story and find out?"

"Yeah, what Robin said! Tell us, Usopp, tellustellustellus!"

 _'As the tales of old always said, dragons are known for coveting gold, seeking it out and guarding it with their very lives for reasons unknown even to the wisest of men. And gold was precisely what the dragon found hidden away beneath the castle of the Mountain Dwarves.'_

"Gold you say?"

" _AH! Nami, your eyes!"_

 _'Once a dragon seized his prize, it was impossible to relinquish it from his mighty claws, nor would it be possible to chase the beast away from his chosen nest. So for decades, the land was taken hostage by the dragon due to his hunger and greed for gold.'_

"Sounds just like Nami."

"Watch it, Luffy, or I'll up your debt by another 500 Berries."

 _"500?!"_

 _'It seemed that all hope was lost for this nation, doomed to live in fear and dread under the tyranny of the dragon's rule. However, one fateful day, two young heroes arose from the ashes, claiming that they and they alone could conquer the beast and save the nation from the dragon's clutches. And their names were…Sniper King, and his heroic sidekick, Chopper-Man!"_

 _"YEAH! SNIPER KING!"_

 _"And Chopper-Man too?! No way!"_

"Pfft! That's…kind of hilarious."

"That nation is screwed."

" _Hahahahahaha!_ Good one, curly-brows! _"_

"Now now everyone, I'm sure that Sniper King and Chopper-Man will do just fine against the dragon."

"…-s-shut up, dummy, that doesn't make happy or anything, you bunch'a jackasses!"

' _The people of the nation were thrilled to hear the news that two young saviors had come to their aid! However, the dragon was well aware of their arrival as well, and was deeply frustrated. But knew he could destroy them without so much as lifting a claw. He had nothing to fear. Or so he thought, for he had yet to learn of the great power Sniper King and Chopper-Man possessed!'_

" _Ooooohh!"_

"This should be interesting – oi, crappy swordsman, wake up!"

"Whu? Oh, did I fall asleep?"

"Ass!"

 _'Late in the night, when the people were safely hidden in their homes, praying for a miracle, Sniper King and Chopper-Man hurried to the dragon's lair hoping to take him by surprise, but alas! He knew they were coming, and so he unleashed a mighty breath of fire upon them! It seemed as though they were done for, but not so! For Sniper King and Chopper-Man, of course, could fly!'_

"THEY COULD _**FLY?!"**_

' _Yes! And so they flew higher and higher, forcing the dragon to leave his sanctuary and fly after them to finish them off. Whilst Chopper-Man distracted the dragon, enraging him by insulting him and his lineage as well as his questionable 'size' profusely –'_

 _"PFFT!"_

"Oh my _god_."

"Ouch, Bro Usopp, that's messed up!"

"Then why're you grinning, Franky?"

"What? It's funny!"

" _Yohohohoho,_ how unfortunate, for the dragon, that is!"

"I doubt that Chopper – I mean, 'Chopper-Man' would say such things, long-nose."

"I dunno, Robin. Have you _seen_ the kid when he's ticked off?"

"…true."

' _\- Sniper King took his chance to man his weapon, the Kabuto, and aim his chosen weapon straight and true. You see, every dragon has a weak point, a vulnerable spot of which it cannot conceal, or at least from the eyes of Sniper King! This dragon's weak spot just happened to be the back of his long neck; a large patch of scales were missing, leaving the soft flesh dangerously exposed. So without another moment to lose, Sniper King unleashed his special attack, the 'Fire Bird Star', and the dragon howled as it fell to the earth, defeated at last!'_

"YAAAY!"

"Way to go, Bro Sniper King!"

"Hooray for Chopper-Man!"

"Nice!"

"I bet I could've taken it down faster than that with my swords – _ow!_ Nami, what the hell –"

"Don't rain on their parade, Zoro."

 _'The people of the nation were overjoyed to hear of the dragon's defeat, and they celebrated the victory for three whole days, dancing, drinking and singing the praises of Sniper King and Chopper-Man. Once the festivities were over, the two heroes had to depart, but the people could not let them leave without some form of payment, so they offered them a fraction of the gold, the jewels and riches that the dragon had once guarded. Unable to turn away such generosity and gratitude, the heroes accepted their kindness –'_

"Of course they did."

"I would've done the same thing."

"We all know _you_ would, Nami."

 _'"Farewell, citizens" Sniper King called as he and Chopper-Man waved from afar in the glow of the glorious sunset "Until we meet again!" Then a young child called out to them and said, "Oh, Chopper-Man, Sniper King, we must know, where is the place you come from? Where is this 'Sniper Island'?" The two heroes replied, "You want to know where 'Sniper Island' is? The answer is…in your heart!"'_

"So _cool!"_

"…no, seriously, where is it?"

 _'And with that, the heroes disappeared into the sunset, the cheers of the nation echoing from the island as they flew into the distance. Soon, the nation was rebuilt, lives and hearts repaired, and peace was once again restored. And they all lived happily ever after, all thanks to Sniper King, and his heroic sidekick, Chopper-Man. The end.'_

Gathered together in the men's room, Usopp's audience clapped as the story drew to a thrilling and satisfactory close. Luffy and Chopper were beside themselves. " _YEAH!_ Awesome story, Usopp!" the Strawhat captain cried, wrapping a long arm around Usopp's shoulder and drawing him close. "Sniper King and Chopper-Man to the rescue!"

The long-nosed sniper practically glowed under his captain's praise, and he grinned wider when Chopper hopped onto his lap, echoing Luffy's cheer with gusto.

"I gotta admit, it wasn't bad," Sanji said, standing up and stretching his arms outwards with a light yawn. "The dragon was a dumbass, though. Why the hell wouldn't he cover up the weak spot before going into battle?"

"Maybe he didn't know it was there?" Nami shrugged as she and Robin stood up, gathering their cushions.

"Only a moron wouldn't know that a vital part of his body was exposed," Zoro muttered, not bothering to get up as he leaned against the wall instead, swords at his side. "Anyways, time to get some shuteye. Brook, you on watch tonight?"

"That I am, Zoro," said the skeleton, already up and at the door, tipping his hat to his crew-mates. "Be sure to get a good night's rest, everyone. It's good for your bones! _Yohohoho –"_

Sanji threw a pillow at him, and Luffy cackled when Brook let out a high pitched squeal.

"Alright guys, have _Super_ good night!" Franky announced as he climbed into his bunk, and he was shortly followed by Usopp and Luffy.

"Goodnight, Nami-swan! Sleep well, dearest Robin!" Sanji cooed to the girls, who waved as they headed to their own rooms.

"Hey Usopp, you think you can tell us stories like that every night?" Luffy asked, Chopper bounced excitedly in agreement, and Usopp hummed in thought.

"Dunno about _every_ night," the young sniper mused, laying down on his bed as he stroked his chin, "I'd run out of material."

"That, and you'll wear out 'Sniper King's welcome," Zoro muttered from the floor.

Usopp bristled. "Hey! Sniper King will _never_ die, Zoro! How _dare_ you presume that the great King of the Snipers –"

"Usopp," Sanji said from his bunk, his visible eye glaring at Usopp, and the younger man flinched.

"Huh?"

"Shut up."

"…'Kay."

* * *

 **A/N ~** **Oh, the wind carries my name, from Sniper Island far away! I love Sniper King XD**


	4. Chapter 4: Meeting Luffy - Zoro

**A/N ~ Modern!AU, where Zoro first meets Luffy :) This came out _waaaaay_ longer than I'd planned it, but I hope you like it anyways :)  
**

 **I OWN NOTHING.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Meeting Luffy Part 1: Zoro**

 ** _"OW! DAMMIT!"_**

The pained shout was loud enough to rattle the classroom windows, and more than loud enough to startle Zoro, who'd been in the middle of a peaceful nap underneath the large tree in the center of the school gardens.

With a shout of his own, the green haired boy shot up from his lounged position on the grass, scanning the gardens in search of the source of the cry. The only other people mingling about the yards at this time in the afternoon were a group of girls sitting on the benches, a passing couple holding hands, a boy with black hair curled up on the grass surrounded by books, clutching his ankle –

Oh.

Zoro watched as the kid – probably a year or so his minor – rolled on the ground a few meters away, cursing profusely under his breath, still holding tightly onto his ankle, which was already beginning to swell. From the looks of it, he must've tripped over the flower bed border and sprained it.

"Idiot," Zoro scoffed with a shake of his head, "who the hell trips over a flower bed?"

He scanned the yard again, eyes traveling over to the girls who, like Zoro, were watching the scene unfold, a mixture of surprise, pity, and uncertainty as they shared glances and whispers. The young couple he'd seen passing by had stopped at the boy's cry, but were quick to continue on their way as if they'd seen nothing.

Zoro frowned.

What, no one was gonna help him up at all? Bunch of jerks.

That being said, however, there was nothing stopping _Zoro_ from helping him; it wasn't as if _he_ was doing anything important to begin with, his well-deserved nap aside. Plus, from the way the kid was now hunched over, biting down hard on his bottom lip and possibly suppressing tears of pain, he probably wasn't getting up any time soon…

With a resigned sigh Zoro stood up, brushing stray blades of grass off his uniform pants. He might as well help out; it wouldn't kill him after all, even though he wasn't exactly the 'good Samaritan' type. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Zoro left the cool shade of the tree and walked over.

"Hey, kid."

Immediately the boy's head shot right up in surprise, and a pair of impossibly wide brown eyes stared into Zoro's own poison green pair. Zoro also noted that the boy had a scar marring the spot just beneath his left eye, possibly left behind by a knife, and he wondered just how many scraps this scrawny little kid had gotten himself into before today.

"…Hi," the boy replied pleasantly, as if he hadn't been rolling in the grass in apparent agony only seconds earlier.

"You alright?" Zoro asked anyways.

The boy blinked at him. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think I twisted my ankle, though."

"I kinda figured. You screamed so loud you woke me up from my nap."

"Ah?"

The kid looked passed him, stared at the tree Zoro had left behind, and then looked back up at the older teen after connecting the dots. Then, to Zoro's confusion, the kid smiled at him, albeit sheepishly.

"Whoops, sorry about that," he said, lifting one grass-coated hand to scratch the back of his head in a nervous gesture. "Didn't mean to wake you up. You gonna beat me up for it?"

After doing a literal double-take, because _whoa, what the what? –_ Zoro reeled back in shock. "What the flying – jeez, kid, why would I beat you up for something like _that_?" he snapped.

Letting his hand drop back down to his lap, the boy just shrugged. "Dunno. Most of the older guys like beating me up, even if I just bump into them by accident."

His shock fading, Zoro frowned deeply. "…that's somethin' you _really_ should tell someone about, kid. Like a teacher or the principle – hell, what about your parents?"

Again, the kid shrugged, like it was no big deal that he went home with bruises and twisted ankles every day. "Eh, I don't care. If they wanna beat me up just to prove they're bigger and stronger than me, then that's fine; my brother says that all they're _really_ proving is that they're idiots with no self-esteem."

That, by some miracle, lightened the mood by spades and even startled a wry snicker out of Zoro. "Well, can't say I argue with you or your brother on that one," he said. "But seriously, just because they're morons doesn't mean you should just _let_ them walk all over you like you're nothing but crap on the bottom of their boot. You pick and choose your battles, sure, but you _can_ and you _should_ stand up for yourself if you have to. Got it?"

The kid stared at him in silence for a moment, as if drinking in everything Zoro had said. Then he nodded with another smile, this one confident and a little brighter than the last, and a boyish giggle that was almost charming. "Okay! Thanks for the advice."

And for reasons Zoro couldn't explain, he found himself smiling back crookedly. "Sure. Anytime."

"Anyways," the boy continued, stretching his legs out on the grass and wincing when he moved his left foot too much, "I can't really walk, so can you help me gather my books and carry me to the nurse's office?"

The smile was wiped clean off Zoro's face as he stared dumbly at the boy sprawled on the grass, and it took a solid ten seconds for the rest of him to catch up to what he'd just heard. "Wait, _what?_ You want me to _carry_ you?!" he cried.

The boy nodded again. "Yep! That'd be a great help," he said simply. "You're a nice guy, and you look strong enough to carry at least _two_ people, so it shouldn't be a problem for you, right?"

Zoro's eye twitched – he didn't _seriously_ just try to _flatter_ him into submission, did he? – and he could hear the group of girls on the bench giggling behind them, which did _nothing_ to help hide his embarrassment as his face grew red and hot. "What the _hell,_ man?" Zoro grumbled, lifting a hand to rake it through his short green hair in agitation. "I mean, yeah, I'll help you out or whatever but – seriously, you can't just _ask_ something like that when you don't even know my _name_ let alone –"

"'Kay, then what _is_ your name?"

Letting his hand flop back down to his side uselessly, Zoro sighed, knowing at this point there was no use. "…Zoro. My name's Roronoa Zoro."

The boy tilted his head. "Zoro? Like, the masked hero 'Zorro' from the movies?"

"Yeah, sorta, but just one 'r' instead of two," Zoro muttered irritably, because that _obviously_ hadn't been the first time someone had asked him that particular question, and the first chance he got he was gonna change his freaking name –

"That's cool!" the boy said, grinning widely before bowing his head once. "My name's Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy! Nice to meet you."

Zoro stared.

"…no, really? That's your name?"

The kid – _Luffy,_ dear god – nodded. "Yup!"

"That's…that's your _actual_ name, _Monkey_ D. _Luffy_? It says that on your birth certificate and everything?"

"Sure does. So, now that we know each others names, can you carry me to the nurse's office please?"

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you?!"

"I already told you, I can't walk 'cause I twisted my ankle."

"That's _not_ what I –"

"Also since there's a bunch of witnesses around, you'll end up looking like a real jerk if you _don't_ help me out, and you know how news and rumors get 'round real quick at this school."

Zoro stared at the younger boy, completely at a loss. What was his _problem?_ Though Zoro didn't care much about what other people thought of him – they could call him a _demon_ and he wouldn't bat an eye – he wasn't a heartless jerk.

" _What_?! What are you, the son of the _devil_?!" Zoro cried. "And what's with that _smile?_ You think making me look like an ass is _funny?!"_

"So you'll help me up?"

 _"Now you're **really** tickin' me off!"_

* * *

In the end, Zoro _did_ end up complying with Luffy's request under threat of blackmail.

With Luffy secured on Zoro's back – muscular arms looping Luffy's legs as the scarred boy wrapped his long, skinny arms around Zoro's broad shoulders – the two made their way across the school grounds to the nurse's office. They drew an _impossible_ amount of attention to themselves of course, mostly snickers and giggles and a collection of 'aw, how cutes' floating through the air, and Zoro _knew_ rumors would spread like wildfire about the possibility of them _dating_ because of this, and if he could turn any _redder_ –

Luffy, on the other hand, didn't seem to care in the slightest as he smiled widely, happily humming the tune of a song Zoro didn't know, having a pretty damn good time, whilst Zoro continued to wallow in shame and lower his head as if to draw it into a non-existent shell and disappear.

Jeez, only the second day after summer vacation and already he'd been dragged into something stupid.

It was as Zoro was thinking back to fifteen minutes ago, wondering how in the hell he'd gotten himself into this particular mess and how his foster father was gonna have a freaking field day when he heard about it – which he _would_ knowing Perona, damn her – when Luffy said against his ear,

"Thanks a lot for helping me out, Zoro. You're a pretty cool guy!"

For the umpteenth time, Zoro sighed heavily, averting his gaze from the dozens of others that followed them through the hall, including some teachers. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he grumbled, casting a glare over his shoulder at his 'cargo'. "But just so you know, this doesn't make us _friends_ , you got that? You're a pain in my ass. Also, _this_ is the sort of thing I'd beat people up for, but it's only because you've got a twisted ankle that I've decided against it."

Luffy only giggled, as if the concept of getting the crap beaten out of him didn't faze him in the slightest. "That's okay! If you wanna kick my ass later, I can deal. And it's okay if you don't wanna be friends."

Zoro stared at him.

"Freakin' werido," he scoffed, turning back to face the hallway while Luffy resumed his humming and idly swung his uninjured foot back and forth. However, whilst Zoro remained silent for the rest of the journey, his mind was reeling with questions…

 _It's okay if you don't wanna be friends._

…like why the hell did that _bug_ him so much?

* * *

Once they reached the office, Zoro let Luffy slide off his back, and he supported Luffy's shoulders as they hobbled through the door. They were immediately met by the nurse – a young, violet haired lady with large round glasses that took up most of her pale, pretty face – who took one look at Luffy and smiled; it was exasperated but fond, and Zoro wasn't sure what to think when she stood from her desk to cross the room and ruffle Luffy's hair.

"Back again so soon are we, Luffy?" she asked, and Luffy grinned.

"Yep! Twisted my ankle," he said, then transferred his grin to Zoro. "But luckily, this guy was here to help me out; he even carried me all the way here, Miss Kobato! Ain't that nice?"

Zoro made a face at Luffy. "More like you _blackmailed_ me into doing it, brat," he growled, but that only widened Luffy's smile as he younger teen snickered mischievously.

 _Oh, he is **so** the devil._

Miss Kobato giggled behind her hand at the exchange. "Is that right?" she mused aloud, turning to face Zoro, and her eyes seemed to sparkle behind her glasses. "Thank you Mr. Roronoa for bringing Luffy here. I hope he didn't give you _too_ much trouble."

Frowning even as heat rose to his cheeks, Zoro turned away from both the young nurse and the boy leaning against him for support. "…sure, whatever," he muttered. He heard Luffy snicker again, and Miss Kobato chuckled.

* * *

Despite knowing that his job was done, that Kobato could take care of the dumb kid from here, Zoro found himself staying as he leaned against the wall beside Kobato's desk, arms folded over his chest, watching with mild interest as the nurse carefully wrapped his ankle in a layer of bandages.

For reasons unknown even to himself, Zoro felt…almost _compelled_ to stay, just for a little while longer. All he'd done was moan about how annoying the younger boy had been, how the little turd had practically _threatened_ Zoro to carry his sorry ass here…but even so, Zoro just _had_ to stay, but he didn't know _why,_ and it was seriously _irritating_ him –

"There we go," Kobato announced, finishing off Luffy's makeshift cast as she sat back in her chair. "Now Luffy, like I said, it's only a sprain so it's not bad enough that we have to send you home, but you should definitely take it easy for the rest of the day. That means no more running, jumping, or anything that could put too much strain on your ankle, okay?"

Luffy pouted like a child half his age at the news, but nodded anyways. "Okay. That sucks, but at least I don't have to miss art class; I get to finish my Fish Man painting today!"

Zoro raised a brow. "You're painting a _fish man_? Is that even allowed?"

Luffy nodded eagerly. "Yup! We're doing myths and legends for our theme this time, so I decided to make a Fish Man. It's gonna look _awesome!"_

Kobato laughed. "Take a photo of it and show me if you can when you're all finished," she said before standing up from her chair. "Could you wait here for a longer moment, Luffy? I'd like to speak to Zoro outside in private."

Luffy blinked up at the violet-haired nurse, then turned to Zoro – who'd stiffened, looking apprehensive and wondering if he'd done something wrong – before smiling with a careless shrug. "Okay. I'll wait here, I don't mind."

Kobato ruffled his raven hair one last time with a kind smile, and when she directed that smile at Zoro, he relaxed with a light sigh; no, he _wasn't_ in trouble. She inclined her head towards the door and he nodded, following her out of the infirmary and into the empty hallway. The bell for the end of lunch had rung already, meaning that he and Luffy were late for their next classes, but Zoro didn't particularly care; he wouldn't need to use half of the stuff he learned in math later on in life anyway.

"I really can't thank you enough for your help today, Mr. Roronoa," Kobato said, her smile warm and radiant. "You're quite the hero."

At this, Zoro wasn't sure what to do with himself let alone what to say – _what the hell she called me a 'hero'?!_ – so instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked off to the side. "It was nothin', really," he said with a nonchalant shrug. "I mean, anyone else would've done the same thing, right? It's no big deal…"

He trailed off when he noticed in the corner of his eye that Kobato's smile had faded, turning into a sad frown as she looked down at her feet. "Actually," she said quietly, and Zoro turned to face her again as she adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose, "that's not entirely true. Not for Luffy, that is."

Zoro cocked his head. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kobato looked up at Zoro, and her brown eyes had hardened with something dark and _angry_ , but also something, Zoro dared to think, _protective._ It was a side of the little nurse – who fainted at the sight of blood, who screamed loud enough to shatter eardrums if so much as a cockroach skittered past her – which Zoro had never seen before.

"You know how kids can be, Zoro," she said, her voice low but heated. "You know how _horrible_ they can treat anyone who's even the slightest bit different, how one little rumor can spread like wildfire and turn into something dark and ugly, ruining a person's image…you understand what I'm trying to say, don't you?"

Zoro blinked, realization dawning on him.

 _"Most of the older guys like beating me up, even if I just bump into them by accident."_

 _"…you know how news and rumors get 'round real quick at this school."_

 _"…it's okay if you don't wanna be friends."_

"Are you serious?" Zoro asked, quite taken aback by this. "You're telling me that this kid has _no_ friends because of a bunch of stupid rumors? That _can't_ be right."

But to his dismay, Kobato nodded. "I can't tell you what those rumors are about since it's not exactly my place to do so, but I _can_ tell you that Luffy _is_ on his own at school most of the time. He does try to make friends, but…" She trailed off with a helpless shrug of her shoulders, but Zoro had heard enough to understand.

As far as everyone else was concerned, Luffy was different, Luffy was _weird,_ so people steered clear of him.

Zoro could relate; he'd always been a scrappy kid, losing his temper, getting into fights and skipping school, which had ended up with him being kept back a year. It wasn't until he'd been adopted by his new stricter foster father that his life and his attitude improved, but even before that he'd still had _some_ friends, people who'd known what he was going through at the time and had tried their best to help him get better, to _be_ better.

Luffy didn't seem like the person who'd pick fights at every turn, or skip school on purpose or cause trouble just for fun. In fact, one would say that Luffy was the exact opposite; he was a kind and pleasant kid, if not a little goofy, immature, naïve and a bit of a devil behind that smile of his – a smile so wide and genuine and _bright_ enough to light up a whole room, somehow.

So why, according to Kobato, did everyone avoid him like the plague?

Kobato suddenly sniffed, drawing Zoro out of his thoughts, and the green-haired boy was shocked to find that the woman was on the verge of tears, and oh god if she _did_ start crying Zoro wouldn't know what the hell to _do –_

"I can hardly imagine what it must be like," Kobato said, taking her glasses off to wipe at her eye with the sleeve of her turtle-neck sweater, "being completely on your own like that, with no one to really talk to other than teachers. He must be so _lonely_ , always wandering the school grounds by himself…"

She looked up at Zoro again, and her smile returned, though it was fainter than the last. "So when I saw you with him earlier, and I saw how _happy_ he was, I just…I was overjoyed!" she exclaimed in delight. "I thought he'd finally found a _friend_ , and I was so _happy_ for him –"

"Woah woah woah, hold on a sec," Zoro said hastily, holding up his hands. "I never said I was his friend; I just happened to be there when he hurt himself, and like any person with a shred of decency I decided to help him out. That's all there is to it –"

"Oh, I know that," Kobato assured him with a wave of her hand, still smiling. "I'm just saying it's been quite some time since I've seen him smile and talk like that about someone other than his brother. Still, there's one thing I'd like to ask of you…"

Raising a brow, Zoro leaned in closer.

"If it's not too much trouble," she all but whispered in his ear, "could you look after him for me? You don't have to be his friend; the _last_ thing I want is someone befriending Luffy out of _pity_. But just…every once in a while, could you…?"

Zoro made another face at the older woman. Seriously? She wanted him to basically spy/babysit the kid? Well, sure Zoro felt _bad_ for him; no one deserved to be alone, not like that, not someone like Luffy – who could still laugh and smile joke and sing like he'd never known loneliness – but _still_ , Zoro had his own problems to deal with, he didn't have the time, or even the _will,_ to be a _chaperone_ for a seventeen-year-old that could take care of himself.

And yet…

Kobato was still waiting for an answer, not deterred in the slightest by the senior's frustrated glare, and Zoro sighed again, taking a step back and scrubbing his face with his hand in exasperation.

 _Damn it._

"…I dunno about all _that,"_ he muttered at last. "…but I guess…I'll keep an eye on him, if I _can_. But if he gets himself into trouble I'm not the one who's gonna bail him out every time; I'm _not_ his babysitter, alright?"

Despite his tone and his obvious reluctance to comply, Kobato smiled. "That's good enough for me! Thank you, Mr. Roronoa," she said brightly, before opening the door and stepping back into the infirmary, where Luffy, having doodled on his makeshift cast during his wait, looked up at them.

"Luffy, you and Zoro are free to go to class now," Kobato said, moving to her desk and quickly scribbling two notes for the boys. "Give these to your teachers to explain your absence. Oh, and one more thing –"

She handed the notes to the boys and hurried over to the long metal cabinet on the other side of the room, pulling out a pair of crutches. "Here, Luffy, you can use these for today to keep the pressure off your foot. They're a little tricky to handle, but you're a fast learner, right?" She winked at Luffy.

Luffy's eyes went comically wide as he beamed. "Whoa, _awesome!_ I've always wanted to use these things!"

Zoro gave Luffy a sidelong cynical glance. "Why the hell would you wanna walk around all day with _those_?" he asked. "They're more of a pain in the ass than _you_ are."

Kobato handed the crutches over to Luffy and he stood up, slipping his arms through the shafts and grasping the handles before walking forwards experimentally. "No reason," Luffy replied, making it to Zoro's side without a hitch. "I just think they look cool. Also you can _fight_ with 'em, like swords!"

"I'm _begging_ you not to do that," Kobato said with a roll of her eyes, but her smile didn't fade. "Now, off with you both, get to your classes. Oh, Luffy, I almost forgot, how're you getting home today?"

As the boys shuffled out the door, Luffy – having _somehow_ already gotten the hang of using the crutches – turned to look at Kobato over his shoulder. "I'll text Ace and ask him if he can come pick me up. That, or I'll take the bus, no big deal," he said, and then bowed his head. "Bye, Miss Kobato! Thanks again!"

"Any time, Luffy," Kobato said with a little wave, and sent a wink in Zoro's direction. The young man in question only rolled his eyes, ignored her stifled giggle, and trudged down the hallway after Luffy; their classrooms were in the same general direction – or, so Zoro _thought_.

"Hey, Zoro," Luffy said after a moment as he hobbled beside the older teen.

"Hm?"

Luffy sent him another one of his wide grins. "Thanks again. And sorry for blackmailing you."

"Quit thanking me already," Zoro muttered, knowing that the kid wasn't sorry in the _slightest_. "And it's no big deal; it's not as if you could really do any harm to my 'reputation' anyways. But let's make sure this doesn't happen again, alright?"

"Okay! Oh, and if you're looking for your class, you're going the wrong way."

"Huh?"

"Math is in the other direction, dummy."

"…shut up."

"Do you usually get this lost? I mean, you got lost on our way to the office, like, three times."

"I said shut up!"

"Wow, you're really dumb! _Hahaha_ – _**ow**!"_

"Warned ya."

* * *

The sun was setting when the bell rang to signal the end of another day, kids hurrying off the school grounds in droves, eager to get home and relax or do whatever it was that kids did after school, and Zoro was leisurely walking along the hillside by the stream, his bike rolling alongside him, when he spotted Luffy again.

The boy was sitting on the grass a few steps away from the gleaming waters of the stream, arms wrapped around his legs and his chin resting on his knees as he stared off into the distance. This time, much to Zoro's surprise and never-ending confusion, Luffy was wearing a straw hat on his head; the thing looked old enough to have belonged to Zoro's great grandfather or something, but despite its age it'd clearly been well-cared for…

…aside from a few muddy footprints on the top of the hat – and all over Luffy's black uniform blazer – all of which looked _new_.

Then Zoro noticed the crutches Luffy had borrowed from Kobato were on the grass beside him, one of them snapped in half. And Luffy's bag, a small green rucksack, had been torn into, the fabric tattered and dirty, book pages scattered about the ground.

Frozen at the top of the hill, Zoro stared.

What the _hell_? What _the **hell?**_

Zoro dropped his bike and was already halfway down the slope before he could stop himself.

"Hey, kid!"

Just as before, Luffy's head shot up and whirled around in surprise as Zoro drew near. But unlike last time, his face was now sported with a busted lip and the beginnings of a freaking _black_ _eye,_ and Zoro immediately wanted to strangle whoever was responsible.

But despite all that, Luffy's face lit up when he saw Zoro. "Oh, hi!" he chirped happily, shuffling around on his rear to face Zoro completely. "Didn't think I'd see you again, Zoro. What's up?"

Letting his bag slip off his shoulder, Zoro gaped at Luffy. "…'what's up'? Are you _kidding_ me? What happened to you, you look like hell!"

Luffy's smile then faded into that weird 'poker-face' that could mean a million things at once as he blinked. "Oh, you mean this?" He gestured himself with a wave of his hand. "Well, there was this guy called Bellamy. He's in the same grade as you, I think, and he and a bunch of his guys started making fun of me for wearing my hat, so I just ignored 'em. Then Bellamy got mad so he pushed me over…then he took my hat and started stomping on it…"

In the short time Zoro had known Luffy, he'd never seen him frown or get upset other than when he'd hurt his ankle. But there was a deep frown on his face now, and it was dark and _livid,_ a far contrast to the grinning boy Zoro had met only hours ago.

"I got so _mad_ ," Luffy said - _growled_ \- after a moment, clenching his fists tight on his lap, "so I picked up one of the crutches and hit him over the head with it."

 _That explains why it's broken,_ Zoro thought, casting a glance over at the broken object, _but did he seriously hit the guy_ that _hard? I almost feel sorry for the creep._

"After Bellamy went down, the rest of his guys ganged up on me," Luffy continued, his anger fading and turning into something almost resigned _._ "I got a few hits in before my ankle gave out, and they started stomping on me instead. Then they picked up Bellamy and left after going through my stuff; they tore up my homework and took my wallet, then they spit on me."

For a moment, Zoro only gazed down at Luffy in silence, brows furrowed and mouth set in a firm frown, his own fists clenching, turning his knuckles white.

How dare they? How _dare_ they? What the hell did Luffy do to justify any of this crap? And _why_ was he just _letting it slide?_

"Zoro?"

Remembering himself, and noticing how Luffy was staring up at him, head tilted to one side with innocent curiosity and concern, Zoro heaved a heavy sigh.

"You usually get into this much trouble?" he asked, exasperated, and when Luffy only shrugged, he fought back the urge to slap a hand over his eyes - or worse, slap _him_. "Jeez, when I said 'don't let people walk all over you' I didn't mean pick a fight with a freaking _gang_ , and all because of some old hat –?"

"It's _not_ just some old hat!"

Zoro was almost startled by the anger in Luffy's shout, but was unprepared for the downright _threatening_ gleam in his brown eyes as he glared up at Zoro, one hand reaching up to clasp the hat protectively. It was as if Luffy were _daring_ Zoro, challenging him to a fight he would clearly lose, but he didn't care.

The two stared each other down for the longest time, neither saying a word. Dead leaves rustled about them in the soft winds, water steadily trickled down the stream; the only sounds filling the silence between the two young men as they exchanged heated glares, neither backing down for a moment…

Then Zoro smirked. "Alright."

Luffy's heated glare faded, and he blinked up at Zoro in mild surprise. "Huh?"

Zoro placed a hand on his hip. "That hat means something to you, right? And any ignorant jerk who so much as insults it is asking for an ass-kicking, right?"

Luffy stared at him for a moment longer. Then, his smile returned. "Yep, that's right."

Zoro nodded. "That's all I need to know."

This kid was something else entirely. Yeah, he was still weird as hell, and had more of a temper than Zoro had first thought – and was also probably one hell of a fighter despite his appearance, because _damn_ he'd snapped that crutch in _half_ – but he had heart. He had guts. And with how much trouble he got himself into in less than twenty-four hours, he was certainly interesting.

And perhaps something 'interesting' was what Zoro needed right now.

"Right," Zoro said, crouching down on the grass to gather up the remains of Luffy's books and papers. "Is your brother still picking you up?"

Watching Zoro with mild interest, Luffy shook his head. "No, he couldn't get anyone to cover him today, so I was gonna take the bus instead."

"And then those morons took off with your wallet. That's perfect," Zoro huffed, stuffing the papers in Luffy's bag – it was intact enough that it could still carry _something,_ but he would definitely need a new one.

"Yup," Luffy sighed. "But it's no big deal, I can walk home; my house isn't all that far from here –"

"You _can't_ walk, numbskull, not without the crutches, and since you managed to break one of them you'll be stuck here," Zoro sighed, standing up and slinging both his bag and Luffy's over his shoulder. "I've got a bike. I'll take you."

Luffy gaped up at him. "You'd do that? But I thought you said I was a pain in your ass."

"True. And you probably always _will_ be," Zoro shrugged, and then he held out a hand to Luffy. "But can't a guy help a friend out?"

At that, Luffy's breath hitched, brown eyes wide as he stared up at Zoro, and for the first time since Zoro had met him, Luffy had been rendered speechless. If he weren't himself, Zoro would've burst out laughing at the look on the scarred kids' face, which soon broke out into a mile-wide smile as warm as the sun itself. Then Luffy giggled and took Zoro's hand.

"Sure you can!"

Soon enough, the two were zipping down the path on Zoro's bike, Luffy's arms wrapped around Zoro's waist to keep him steady. The boy was laughing loudly with unrestrained glee as the winds swept over him; the straw hat was attached to a string around Luffy's neck so it didn't blow away, which allowed the boy to let his mane of fluffy raven hair blow freely in the cool autumn breeze. All the while as he peddled onward, Zoro found himself smiling listening to his new friend's boisterous laughter, not caring about the attention they drew from the remaining school kids walking down the path.

 _He'd_ put that smile back on Luffy's face. And somehow, to Zoro, it felt like a victory.

"So, where _exactly_ do you live?" Zoro asked.

"You know where the beach is, right? It's near there; we live in one of the apartment buildings, and we have an _awesome_ view of the ocean – oh!"

Luffy stat up a little higher on the bike, and with one hand clutching Zoro's blazer, he waved with the other at a pair of kids coming up on their right.

"Hey, Usopp! _Hiiiiii!"_ he called as they passed.

The kids – a girl with short red hair and a boy with a ridiculously long nose – looked pretty confused as they stared after them, but the long-nosed guy hesitantly waved back, and Luffy grinned.

"Who were they?" Zoro asked.

Sitting back down and reattaching himself to Zoro, Luffy giggled. "I don't know the girl, but I met the long-nosed kid earlier today. I knew his dad when I was little; he was a part of a gang I used to hang out with, and he _always_ talk about his son, Usopp. So tomorrow, I'm gonna tell him!"

Zoro smirked. "Good luck with that. Now, would you mind giving me some directions to your place before we end up getting lost?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah sure, turn right here."

"Got it."

"I said _right_ , you're going _left,_ dummy!"

 _"I knew that!"_

* * *

 **A/N ~ And thus a friendship was born XD I hope you liked that, and more are on the way. Also, if you guys have any suggestions or requests, please don't hesitate to ask! :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Braids

**A/N ~ Hello again! This one is just pure Strawhat fluff because I'm currently watching an arc full of so much _angst_ so I needed to write something a little happy XD  
**

 **This got _waaay_ longer than I'd planned it to be, but I hope you like it regardless XD**

 **I OWN NOTHING! Don't forget to rate and review; your feedback means so much to me :)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Braids**

"Hey, Usopp?"

Usopp was jarred out of his inner musings with a light jump when Luffy spoke, breaking the calming quiet that had settled over the ship, and he turned his half-hearted attention from the tranquil waters below them to the scarred boy sitting beside him on the _Sunny's_ rails. "Hm?"

Luffy's dark eyes, wide and curious, traveled to the back of Usopp's head, taking in the long, bushy ponytail resting against Usopp's back. "How come your hair is so long?" he asked.

Usopp stared at Luffy. "You're _seriously_ just asking me that _now?"_ he droned. "I mean, it's been _months_ since we were reunited and you're –"

"No, that's not what I meant." Luffy set his fishing pole safely aside, and Usopp, sensing that this conversation – if it could even be called a conversation – wasn't going to end any time soon, did the same. "I mean how come you haven't cut it yet?" Luffy continued. "You said one time that you'd never let it grow out, so how come it's so long now?"

Usopp opened his mouth to reply – but quickly shut it again. Huh. That was a good question, actually.

Usopp reached back and touched the thick mane of curly black hair, humming to himself; truth be told he'd actually forgotten how short his hair used to be until Luffy had pointed it out. He remembered, though, waking up one morning on that cursed island – which _still_ made him shiver – to find that his hair had grown half the length of his spine seemingly overnight. "I dunno," he said at last, shrugging lamely. "Guess I must've forgotten."

Luffy hummed softly, curiously reaching out to card his fingers through the unkempt mane of black hair, and Usopp let him; it actually felt kinda nice. "Doesn't it get heavy or annoying?" the scarred boy asked, both hands now gently raking through Usopp's hair at the sniper's silent consent. "It's _gotta_ be, since it was so short before."

Again, Usopp shrugged, closing his eyes and leaning into Luffy's touch. He was fully aware that at this point he was practically letting Luffy coddle him like a kitten, but oddly enough he didn't really care. "Not really," he replied. "I guess I've just gotten used to having it this long without even realiz – **_OW!"_**

Despite his uncharacteristic gentleness, Luffy's fingers suddenly caught a knot in Usopp's hair, a rather thick one at that, and the boy furrowed his brows in what could only be described as _offence_ as he tugged harder. The knot didn't loosen, and only increased Usopp's pain.

 _"GYAH! LUFFY, LET GO!"_ Usopp shrieked. _"You're gonna tear my hair out, dammit!"_

 _"Uwah! Sorry Usopp!"_ The straw-hatted boy immediately tried to pull his hands back, but his rubber fingers had already become hopelessly trapped.

 _"CRAP, I'M STUCK!"_

 ** _"WHAT?!"_**

 _"USOPP'S HAIR IS_ _ **ALIVE**_ _!"_

After several painful minutes of shouting and flailing in desperate attempts to free Luffy from Usopp's death trap of hair – with said boy captain nearly careening over the side of the _Sunny_ and into the ocean twice – the two young men were finally sitting against the rails, having liberated Luffy at last. They heaved long sighs of relief.

"Damn, that was scary," Luffy gasped, a hand over his heart. "I thought your hair was gonna eat me."

"My hair is not a sentient creature, Luffy," Usopp muttered dryly, letting himself lean against Luffy's shoulder. He was a rubber idiot but at least he was a comfy rubber idiot.

"What's sentitent mean?" Luffy asked.

" _Sentient._ It means it's not alive, nor does it have a mind of its own, therefore it _cannot_ eat you."

"Oh, okay, if you say so. Still, I thought my hands were gonna be stuck there forever."

Usopp snickered. "Yeah, could you imagine what _that_ would be like? You and me, stuck together like that for the rest of our lives?"

A heartbeat of silence. And then Luffy burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, hugging his stomach as he fell onto his back, rolling on the grass. Usopp was quick to follow him, finding the image of the two of them forced to fight with one's hand trapped in the other's hair suddenly hilarious, yet somewhat terrifying at the same time.

Once they'd calmed themselves down lest they worried the rest of their crew into thinking they were dying, they lay there side by side on the grass, their arms spread lazily outwards, gazing up at the clear blue skies overhead.

"Y'know what," Usopp said after a moment, and he felt Luffy turn his head to look at him. "Maybe it _is_ time for a change."

"So you're gonna cut it?"

Usopp shook his head. "Nah, like I said I've gotten used to the length; cutting it now would feel…well, _wrong,_ I guess. Maybe I just need a new style or something just for the time being."

At that, Luffy suddenly grinned, jerking up into a sitting position. "Usopp, you just gave me a great idea!" he chimed, and Usopp instantly regretted opening his mouth; whenever Luffy had a 'great idea', it usually ended in bruises or in some cases tears.

Despite this, Usopp couldn't find it in himself to deny his captain at least the chance to carry out his plan, and so he smiled with a nod and allowed Luffy to take his hand, pull him to his feet and lead him to the bathroom. Once inside the pristine cemented room, Luffy shut the door behind them and pulled out a stool, setting it in front of the long mirror on the wall.

"Sit down here and undo your hair," he said, and without protest Usopp did as he was told, unwinding the band pinning his hair back, letting it fall freely down his back.

As Luffy filled a bowl with water from the sink, Usopp stared at his reflection in the mirror, and he smiled. He knew he'd changed quite a lot in the two years he'd been apart from his rag-tag family, but it was only now that he _truly_ _saw_ how much. His nineteen year old self was stockier than his seventeen, his muscles defined, his chest and shoulders broad and hardened; the goatee growing on his chin, which he had to admit he was _very_ proud of, was also a nice touch.

Though he was still a lad yet, he looked very much like the man he'd always dreamed he'd become when he was a child. In fact, he almost looked like…looked like…his old –

His musings were once again interrupted when he was suddenly doused with a bowl full of water.

 ** _"LUFFY WHAT THE HELL?!"_** Usopp screeched as he spun on his seat to glare daggers at Luffy, who stood behind Usopp with a blank look and a now empty bowl in his hands. The captain blinked once, twice, and then;

"Whoops. Sorry, I forgot to tell you to take off your clothes."

" _You_ _ **moron**_ _!"_

After Usopp punched him – once for the water thing and twice because he knew that punches hardly did anything to the rubber man at that somehow made him angrier – they hung Usopp's drenched clothes up to dry and filled the bath with warm water at Usopp's insistence. The room quickly filled up with steam, fogging up the mirrors and the windows.

After Luffy quickly left to ask Nami for a comb – "If you so much as _scratch_ it," she'd threatened with a raised iron fist that shook with righteous indignation, "I _will_ charge you a hundred thousand beli for it." – the boys got into the bath together, and Usopp began to wonder when _exactly_ it was that he'd stopped finding it weird to take a bath with Luffy as the young captain poured more water over his head again, this time without any forthcoming complaints.

Finally, after several minutes of silence aside from the trickling and occasional splashing of water, Usopp gave in to curiosity. "So, what exactly _are_ you doing, Luffy?" He turned to look at his best friend over his bare shoulder, and Luffy only grinned, nudging Usopp to make him turn his head around again.

"I'm gonna do your hair, duh!" he said.

Though Luffy couldn't see, Usopp raised a brow and smirked. "Seriously? How do _you_ know how to do people's hair when half the time _yours_ is the most unruly? In fact, isn't Robin the one who does your hair?"

"Not _all_ the time! Besides, my hair's _fine_ the way it is!"

"Yeah, okay, keep telling yourself that. Anyways, why do you wanna do _my_ hair? Is it to help me out or just because you're bored? Or is it both? It's both, isn't it?"

Luffy shifted in the water so that he was sat cross-legged behind Usopp before plucking Nami's comb from the edge of the tub. "Just 'cause," was all he said, and then he began to comb the knots from Usopp's hair starting from the bottom. Usopp, knowing that it was hopeless, decided against asking any more questions as he let his captain work. He snuck a quick glance over his shoulder again and nearly smirked at the look of pure concentration on Luffy's face, his brows furrowed and all; that was a rare sight to see, on _Luffy_ that is.

"Shut up."

Usopp started. "Huh? I didn't even say anything."

"You were thinking something mean, shut up."

"You can't read my mind!"

"Says who?"

 _"Don't say things like that, you're freaking me out!"_

" _Hehehehe."_

 _"DON'T LAUGH SINISTERLY EITHER!"_

* * *

Soon after, Usopp's hair was all combed out with limited protests from said sniper, since Luffy was surprisingly good with the comb despite the difference in their perception of what was deemed painful. The boys stepped out of the bath, letting the water drain, and Luffy grabbed a towel and threw it over Usopp's head, roughly drying his hair and laughing when Usopp cried out in alarm, taken by surprise.

Luffy then showed Usopp how to wrap his hair up with the towel the same way they had seen Nami and Robin do, and when Usopp asked how in the hell he knew how to do _that_ , Luffy replied, "I saw Dadan do it one time after she came out of the bath. It looked weird, but it wasn't as bad as seeing her in nothing _but_ a towel."

Then the boy shuddered, and Usopp could only guess what this 'Dadan' person must've looked like to gain such a reaction out of _Luffy_ , who had seen the Warlord _Boa Hancock_ naked – lucky sod – and had barely batted an eye. So Usopp shuddered with him.

Dressing themselves, they headed back to the men's dorm where they found three of their nakama gathered together; Brook and Chopper were playing a game of chess on the floor, and Franky was sitting on one of the beds reading a book he'd most likely borrowed from Robin. Upon their entry, all three of them looked up, and grins stole their faces at the sight of Usopp.

"Well well well, what's the occasion?" Brook asked delightedly, and Chopper giggled beside him.

Lifting his shades and raising a brow at the young marksman, Franky grinned teasingly. "Goin' to the ball, Bro Usopp?"

Usopp grunted indignantly at the shipwright, trying his best to hide the blush across his cheeks. Luffy slung an arm around his broad shoulders. "I'm helping him with his hair!" he declared proudly. "I almost got my fingers stuck in it before, so I combed it all out in the bath for him."

At that, Franky's grin widened as he set his book down on the bed. "Well, that explains the towel. And the screaming I heard earlier. Seriously, I thought someone was gettin' murdered out there."

"Ooh, ooh, can I help too?!" Chopper hopped to his feet, waving his hooves in the air to gain his captain's attention despite the fact he was already looking down at him.

"Sure you can!" the captain snickered, squeezing Usopp tighter. "You hear that, Usopp? You're getting special treatment!"

Usopp returned his captain's grin, and feigned a contented sigh as he folded his arms over his chest, his nose haughtily in the air. "I must be practically _royalty_ on this ship. I'm in heaven!"

The others laughed as they sat Usopp down on the floor in front of the mirror, and with steady bony fingers Brook carefully unwound the towel draped around Usopp's head. Black hair cascaded down Usopp's back in waves, and they all gasped in awe, eyes widened to saucers. When all wet and combed free of the knots, Usopp's hair fell down the whole length of his spine, nearly touching the floor.

"Whoa, Bro Usopp!" Franky cackled, striking his signature pose. "Your hair is _SUUUPEER!"_

"You look like a mermaid!" Luffy laughed, and Usopp fought the urge to slap him.

"It's so _long!"_ Chopper gasped, taking a lock of Usopp's damp hair in his hooves and holding it up to the light. "It's almost longer than Robin's hair, or even Nami's!"

"I don't think it's _that_ long, Chopper," Usopp chuckled, tilting his head from side to side as he gazed at his reflection in the mirror. He had to admit he was impressed, too; it was a heck of a lot longer than he'd thought it was. "What're we gonna do with all of it?"

Plopping down on his rear beside Usopp, Luffy stroked his chin and hummed aloud. "Well, you said you don't wanna cut it, but if we put it back in a ponytail it'll just get all tangled up again, and I _really_ don't want it to eat me again."

"Luffy for the last time my hair cannot eat you or _anyone else –"_

"How about we try pigtails?" Franky suggested and nudged Usopp's side with a mischievous grin. "I bet they'd look _beautiful_ on you!"

Usopp bristled. "Ass!" he growled, and Franky let out a bark of laughter when Usopp smacked his arm only to cry out in pain, cradling his throbbing hand; never hit a cyborg arm, lesson learned.

"Now now, let's not fight," Brook cautioned, shuffling in between the sniper and the shipwright. "There's no need to get upset, I'm sure Franky meant well. However to be honest, I don't quite see pigtails working for you, Usopp. Then again, I have no eyes to see with in the first place! _Yohohoho!"_

Usopp and Franky stared at him flatly. "That was so forced," they muttered. Brook visibly wilted like a dried up flower.

Whilst Chopper giggled at Brook's joke – which unfortunately went unnoticed by the depressed skeleton – Luffy brightened and snapped his fingers. "I got it! Usopp, we'll give you braids!"

Usopp turned to face him, making a face. "Braids?"

Luffy shook his head, eagerly shuffling closer to Usopp and placing his hands on his shoulders. "No, I mean giving you, like, _tons_ of tiny braids!" he said. "Y'know, the deadlock things!"

"Deadlock? What the heck are you say – _oh!_ You mean _dread_ locks!" Usopp realized, and the other boy nodded with an excited boyish giggle. "I hadn't even thought of that. Luffy, that's actually a pretty good idea."

"Dreadlocks, oh how _marvelous_!" Brook exclaimed, clasping his bony hands together with glee. "I've always had a fondness for dreadlocks, though I myself prefer the afro, _Yohohoho!"_

"I think they'd suit you, Usopp!" Chopper cried, hopping onto Usopp's lap and bouncing enthusiastically. "Maybe we could ask Robin if we can put some of her flowers in the braids, too!"

Franky was beaming, very much on board with the idea of their young sniper with dreads, but a question burned on the tip of his tongue as he sat down next to his captain. "Yo, Bro Luffy, I gotta ask," he said, giving Luffy a nudge that all but made the small boy topple onto his side with a squeak. He landed sideways on Brook's lap, and the skeleton chuckled. "I get that you're full of surprises and all, but this is crazy," Franky continued, "Just how the heck do you know how to do all this stuff with hair?"

"Yeah, how _is_ that? It seems pretty strange to me," Usopp agreed. Then his expression turned grave, eyes widening as he gasped dramatically. "Maybe…maybe you're not the _real_ Luffy! You're an _imposter_!"

" _An imposter?!"_ Chopper wailed, leaping out of Usopp's arms to skitter behind him. Usopp threw his head back and laughed, assuring Chopper that he'd only been joking as he rubbed the young reindeers' head reassuringly. Chopper called him an ass and smacked his arm.

Not bothering to move from Brook's lap – not that the skeleton minded one bit – Luffy shrugged. "Makino taught me how to do 'em when I was a kid. She used to brush my hair when it got too messy since I was always wearing my Shanks hat." He plucked said straw hat off his head, stretching a rubber arm to lay the old thing atop Brook's afro, giggling when the musician playfully poked him in the side. "She showed me how to do braids, too, so I practised with all the other kids in my village."

Franky leaned back on his robotic hands, smiling fondly at the thought of their young captain, a man who'd faced admirals and toppled empires with his bare hands, skipping about a village with braids in his hair like a child who'd never known war or death. "So, I take it you're an expert then?" Franky asked, and when the boy nodded assuredly, the cyborg chuckled and turned to Usopp. "Well, what do you say, Bro Usopp? You ready to get your braid on?"

There was a short silence as everyone turned to stare at Franky.

"Franky, I kindly ask that you never say that again."

"Yeah that was pretty lame."

"What? C'mon, that was _super!_ Admit it, Luffy! _"_

"Super _lame."_

"Now you listen here Strawhat -!"

Usopp cleared his throat to silence the amusing spat, regaining the attention of all in the room. He inclined his head with a lopsided smile directed at his captain. "Well, since you haven't killed me yet, why the heck not?" he said and turned back to the mirror, crossing his legs and straightening his back. "Go nuts, Captain Luffy!"

With that, Luffy rolled off Brook's lap, leaving his treasured straw hat with the living skeleton, and Usopp swore the other boy was _glowing_ as he scooted over on his hands and knees to sit behind Usopp, the comb in his hand and a gleam in his eyes that warmed Usopp's heart to the core. Chopper and Brook offered their assistance, and Franky decided to sit back and watch the show as the three of them began to part and braid Usopp's hair bit by bit.

They laughed, they joked and shared stories as they worked; Brook roused a chorus of an old familiar song to which their voices accompanied with jubilant gusto, and in the center of it all, Luffy's smile shone the brightest.

Usopp smiled to himself. Only Luffy could find enjoyment in something as trivial as braiding a friend's hair.

* * *

The sun had begun to set behind the horizon when Sanji called for dinner. The rest of the Strawhats entered the dining room one by one, taking their seats as Sanji laid down his delectable dishes upon the table. However, their captain, along with four more of their nakama, were strangely late, leaving the others to wonder what on earth could be taking them so long until finally, with his usual jubilant holler – _"SAAAANJIIII I'M HUNGRY!"_ – they all piled into the dining room.

However, all eyes darted to Usopp as he took a seat at the long table beside Luffy and a gobsmacked Nami. His hair was back in its usual ponytail, but instead of loose untamed curls, long thick braids trailed down his back, tightly woven and immaculate, and Usopp practically shone when collective gasps filled the air.

"Whoa, Usopp, loving the new look!" Sanji grinned, setting down a tray of steaming lobster at the center of the table. His observation was met with nods of agreement from both Nami and Robin, who hid her smile behind the rim of her tea cup.

"You look like a real pirate, Usopp," Nami said and playfully punched Usopp's shoulder. He shoved her back in return in an attempt to hide the blush across his cheeks.

At the other side of the table, leaning back against his chair with his arms folded lazily behind his head, Zoro smiled crookedly. "So who's behind the handiwork?" he probed, casting his eye across the table. "Chopper? Brook? Franky?"

Usopp shook his head and reached out to drape an arm around Luffy's shoulders. "Nope! It was all Luffy's idea," he proclaimed proudly, tightening his hold when Luffy snickered.

"And we helped!" Brook and Chopper chimed in unison.

"And you all did a _SUUUPEER_ job!" Franky cheered, a large, robotic fist punching the air with elation.

Sanji then began to hand out plates for each of them as they settled down to eat, and Usopp took a lock of his newly braided hair and smiled, twisting the braid from side to side in admiration; he had to admit, Luffy had done an excellent job (with the help of Brook and Chopper of course). It was hard for him to believe that the whirlwind of a boy he called his captain actually had the patience to sit down and learn how to accomplish something as complicated as this.

It left Usopp wondering if there was more to Luffy's proclamation than he'd originally let on? Not that he suspected his captain of lying or hiding something, of course not; Luffy wasn't exactly a secretive person, the idiot couldn't even _lie_ properly – then again was that really such a bad thing? Still, he had to wonder…

Robin's voice breaks him out of his reverie.

"Luffy?" she called, and she didn't have to raise her voice for the boy in question to hear her even as he stuffed his face with lobster and shrimp; he turned to face her immediately. She smiled delicately. "I'm very impressed with what you've done with Usopp's hair. I can imagine it must've been quite a challenge."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Usopp muttered sourly, and Robin gracefully ignored him.

Luffy swallows the lump of food in his throat and shakes his head. "Nah, not really; I used to braid all the time for the kids in my village no matter what kind of hair they had, though short hair was really hard to do, and it sucked that I couldn't do Sabo's 'cause his hair was really _really_ short, and Ace would always say 'screw off I don't wanna look like a girl', but anyways, it wasn't _that_ hard. I can do all kinds of braids now!"

Robin laughed softly, her elbow on the table and her chin resting in the palm of her hand. "I see. In that case, after dinner, perhaps you could braid my hair as well?"

The others turned to look at her in collective surprise, including Luffy as he blinked hard, his smile falling into a confused pout. "Really? You sure about that, Robin?" he asked, tilting his head at her, and the raven haired woman nodded with a soft chuckle, summoning a disembodied hand to reach up from the table and softly card fingers through Luffy's hair in a fond manner.

"Yes. If I recall correctly from what I heard on the last island we docked at, braids are in fashion this season," she replied. "Besides, I think it would be an honor for my dear captain to style my hair for a change."

At that, Luffy returned her smile and nodded. "Alright, sure!" he said, "I can even put flowers in too, if you want, since you love flowers so much!"

"Ooh ooh, can I help too?" Chopper cried from the other side of the table.

Beside Robin, Nami hummed thoughtfully. "Y'know, now that you mention it _I_ haven't done my hair in quite a while, either." She tapped a finger against her chin, smiling. "Maybe having a few braids here and there wouldn't be such a bad idea."

" _I can help with that, Nami-swan!"_ Sanji swooned, gliding to Nami's side. "I just so happen to have some experience with braids myself. It would be my absolute _pleasure_ to display my talents for you, my dearest Nami!" The young cook bowed elegantly to her, and Nami rolled her eyes at his usual love-sick theatrics, but agreed nonetheless.

Usopp watched in silence as Brook then offered to do Sanji's hair despite the length, and listened as Franky teasingly asked to try his hand at Zoro's impossibly short hair, to which the swordsman had adamantly refused. He turned to Robin, who only smiled in his direction before returning to her meal. Usopp smirked and shook his head; either she was planning something, or she, much like the rest of them, wanted an excuse to enjoy themselves over this new revelation of their captain's hidden talents.

As it turned out, it was the latter.

After dinner, the whole crew had gathered out onto the grassy deck, forming what would later be called a 'braid-train'; Luffy was sat behind Robin reading a book at the front of the 'train', hat hanging by the string around his neck and brows creased in concentration as he threaded her wavy ebony locks into beautiful braids whilst Chopper handed him a few flowers to pin between the folds; Nami sat behind Luffy, her tongue protruding from the corner her mouth as she tried her hand at plaiting the young captain's short curls whilst Sanji worked on her auburn tresses in concentrated silence behind her. Brook was adding the finishing touches to Sanji's blonde bob as he intertwined a handful of roses into his hair, and a glance over his shoulder had Usopp snickering when he caught Franky placing the crown of assorted flowers he'd helped the cyborg make on a sleeping Zoro's head.

With a contented sigh, Usopp gazed at his nakama surrounding him, each of them enjoying each other's company, laughing and grinning in delight in the results their hard work yielded as the sun set behind the gold tinted clouds. He eyed Luffy in particular, who'd hopped to his feet with a joyful laugh as he thanked Nami for the wonderful job she'd done with his usual mane of wild hair, as if it were one of the greatest gifts he could've ever received…

Usopp smiled, absently twirling one of his own braids as he sat back on the grass, looking up at the clouds circling overhead, all the while listening to the laughter and music around him.

 _Oh yeah, we're_ so _doing this more often._

* * *

 **A/N ~ Like I said, Strawhat fluff XD I absolutely ADORE the bromance between Luffy and Usopp, it's just so cute I can't take it XD  
**

 **I hope you liked it, and don't hesitate to pop a request or two in the comments!**


	6. Chapter 6: Stargazing

**A/N ~ Hello again! I know I have other updates that need, um, updating, but because I've finally hit the last episode before the 2 Year time skip, I decided to write a little something :) This one, because I'm a _sucker_ for Mamma Robin, focuses on Robin and Luffy.  
**

 **I OWN NOTHING.**

 **Please rate and review; I appreciate every single one of them, and please don't hesitate to hit me with any requests you might have! I'm always open!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Stargazing**

Night descended upon the _Thousand_ _Sunny_ like an encompassing blanket, prompting even its obnoxiously boisterous captain to follow his nakama – sans Brook, who had the first watch that night, not that he minded at all – to retire to their beds and rest their weary bodies in preparation for whatever challenges lay ahead of them the next day. Settling on the calm ocean waters, winds blowing softly through the mighty ship's sails, the Straw-Hat crew found themselves slipping with ease into a peaceful slumber.

 ** _"GRK!"_**

Luffy pitched violently in his bunk with a muted cry, panting and sweating profusely as he stared straight ahead, brown eyes blown wide yet unseeing. Gulping greedily for air, the young captain shivered, though not by the loss of his blanket which lay pooled at his waist but the fear coursing through his thin frame, gripping his pounding heart with an iron hold that refused to yield. The hand that had flown up to his chest gripped at the 'x' shaped scar, trembling fingers digging into the ruined skin, willing the burning sensation to go away.

He blinked hard.

 _It…it was a dream._

It was slow going, but eventually the fingers eased the vice-like grip on his chest, his hand flopping boneless to his side as he forced himself to breathe, _slowly_ like Chopper always said, let his frayed nerves repair themselves. Finally, he closed his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh, letting his face drop into his sweaty palms as the remnants of his dream – his _nightmare_ – faded away.

 _'It was just a dream',_ he told himself, over and over. ' _Just a dream.'_

Clouded eyes looked up from his hands and swept over the cabin lit only by the moonlight beaming through the porthole; everyone else was still sound asleep, snoring and dreaming away despite Luffy's earlier distress. Even in the darkness he could see Usopp partially dangling off his bunk, his legs tangled in the blankets; Sanji remained curled up on his side under Usopp's bunk, chest steadily rising and falling – Luffy could spot Chopper's antler on the cook's other side; perhaps Chopper'd had a nightmare too? Franky was muttering something about a _super_ project in the bunk underneath Luffy's, and Zoro's soft snores reverberated from below the cyborg's; Luffy found the most comfort from the swordsman's presence.

The boy sighed softly, grateful at least that he hadn't disturbed his nakama's well-deserved rest. Yet he couldn't find the will – or the nerve – to lie down and try his hand at finding sleep again. Not after that. Not after…

Luffy shook his head hard, quickly banishing the thoughts. He couldn't go back to sleep, but he couldn't sit there in the dark and stare at nothing, either. He could always go get a snack from the galley…no, Sanji would kick the crap out of him again, and he still hadn't figured out how to smash the lock on the fridge door (the _one_ thing Franky had added when he'd built the ship that Luffy absolutely _hated_ ).

The raven-haired boy sighed again. Perhaps some fresh air would help. Yeah, fresh air was always good, Chopper and Robin always said so; Chopper was the ship's doctor and Robin knew pretty much everything, so it _had_ to be true.

Careful not to disturb anyone any more than he already had, Luffy climbed out of his bunk, bare feet landing soundlessly on the Adam's Wood floors. Shrugging into his red jacket and foregoing his sandals, he quickly stretched up to retrieve his straw hat, jamming it on his head and without a second glance behind him he left the room, remembering to softly close the door behind him. No one stirred at his departure; he counted that as a win.

The cool ocean breeze, a far cry from the enclosed heat of the cabins, was an instant comfort for Luffy as he hopped down to the grassy deck of the _Sunny_. A faint smile on his lips, he crossed over to the swing and took a seat, legs idly kicking back and forth as he gripped the ropes on either side of him. He didn't know how long he stayed there, staring down blankly as his worn denim shorts, his toes digging into the soft grass as he gently swayed back and forth on the swing he, Usopp and Chopper always loved to play on; time was a dull blur to him as he sat there on his own, only the sea below and the stars above for company.

 _Stars…_

Luffy blinked out of his reverie and cast his gaze upwards. A wide grin stole across his scarred face as brown eyes imbibed the vast expanse of the glittering stars that seemed to float over his head like fire flies. He hadn't noticed just how _bright_ they were, how _many_ of them there were.

Hopping off the swing with a new spring in his step, Luffy flung his arm out to catch the _Sunny's_ figurehead and catapulted himself with practiced ease across the ship, landing soundly on his favorite spot. Crossing his legs as he sat down, he leaned back on his hands to stare back up at the cloudless skies. He sighed happily, shaking his head until his beloved hat slipped off and dangled by the cord around his neck. "The stars sure are pretty tonight," he murmured aloud.

He blinked.

 _And suddenly he's back on Dawn Island, his little legs dangling over the rocky edge of the cliff as he stares up at the stars, a wide grin overtaking his young face._

 _Sabo drapes an arm around his shoulders, he's pointing up at a particular set of stars, says something about a Dipper – but to Luffy it looks more like a spoon – and Ace shuffles closer on Luffy's other side to listen in on whatever Sabo is trying to explain while trying not to seem_ too _interested, his shoulder brushing against Luffy's. Ace calls Sabo a dork, making the blond bristle with annoyance, and Luffy can only laugh until he cries. Sabo and Ace aren't too far behind, and soon the three of them are rolling on the grass with mirth, tears streaming down their faces as their laughter echoes across the summer night._

Luffy giggled softly at the memory. He liked looking up at the stars, ever since he was young, but not quite as much as he loved the sea. The sea was everywhere, the sea was freedom, adventure with the promise of treasure beyond comprehension, and all he needed was to simply reach out and touch it, take a ship and set sail. The stars, whilst just as beautiful, were always out of reach, always too far away for even a rubber man to grasp, an impossible endeavor, an impossible dream.

But Sabo _loved_ the stars. He used to tell Luffy and Ace all about them, the different constellations and names of every star he could remember. Ace always said that stars were just a bunch of bright lights in the sky, but Sabo was smarter than Ace. Maybe it was because he'd been a noble, but Sabo just always seemed to _know_ everything about _everything,_ like Robin.

Luffy remembered how the three of them would stay up all night just gazing up at the stars, how one time Sabo had tried and failed to count them, how they'd laughed and told stories, how they'd eventually fall asleep on each other's shoulders until the sun rose. He remembered how _safe_ he'd felt nestled between his big brothers, remembered how _warm_ they'd felt against him like a protective barrier of fire –

Luffy's smile fell. He blinked.

 _And suddenly Luffy is surrounded by fire._

 _He's trapped, encased by the colossal wall of flames licking at his bloody skin, dangerously close; he swears he can smell burning rubber in the air, but he feels no pain. Ivankov must've outdone himself with those injections if he can't even_ feel _the pain. The fire was getting closer now, smoke and ashes billowing in the air, threatening to suffocate him, drown him in the crimson inferno._

 _And yet, Luffy has nothing to fear. Ace is a solid weight against his back, standing tall and proud for all the world to see, grinning down at Luffy, and despite the danger all around them Luffy beams right back. This isn't like Grey Terminal when they'd had no way out, no way to quell the fires. This time, the fire_ protects _them._

 _This time, Ace_ _ **is**_ _the fire._

 _Marines are charging at them from all sides, weapons brandished and curses – "Die, son of Dragon!" "Go to hell, son of the Devil!" – spewing from their lips, but the brothers pay them little heed. Nothing and no one can reach them here, surrounded by Ace's fire; his big brother wouldn't_ let _them near._

 _"Like old times, huh Luffy?" Ace smirks, and Luffy feels tears sting his eyes even as a grin splits his face in two._

 _"ACE!"_

 _They're in the midst of a war that would change the course of history, with no guarantee of survival, and yet Luffy isn't afraid. Here in the circle of flame and light, side by side with his brother, he's safe, sound. He's_ warm _._

 _And suddenly he's_ **cold** _._

 _His blood, his body, his heart is frozen, breaking as Ace takes his final breath and slips from Luffy's arms, falling lifelessly to the ground, blood pouring from the gaping wound in his chest, the mark of his father all but destroyed, and Luffy can only stare, watch as his light fades into an inescapable darkness before he throws his head back and howls._

 _The fire is gone. The warmth is gone, his brother is gone, Ace is_ _ **gone**_ _Ace is_ _ **dead**_ _his brother_ _ **died**_ _his blood is on his hands soaking dripping seeping into him he had to get it off get it off it wasn't true it_ _ **couldn't**_ _be he's cold he's_ _ **cold Ace is**_ **dead** ** _and it'sallMYfaultMYBROTHERISDEAD –_**

 _"Luffy!"_

Luffy gasped sharply, finally aware that someone had been calling his name, and he pitched around so quickly – _too_ quickly – that he slipped off the figurehead with a startled cry. With nothing to catch him he spiraled uncontrollably towards the ocean –

 _"Oof!"_

Seconds before he could even graze the surface of his watery grave, a hand caught him by the back of his jacket and held him fast.

Swaying above the water from the momentum, Luffy breathlessly cast his gaze up – and up and up and _up_ – to see a long train of disembodied arms trailing down the side of the ship. Robin, her arms crossed over her chest and worry creasing her beautiful features, stood where Luffy had been only moments ago, staring down at the captain, long black curls blowing in the soft breeze.

"Luffy, are you alright?" she called.

And despite the terror still coursing through every inch of him, memories of fire and blood piercing his heart, Luffy managed a smile, albeit a small one.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. T-Thanks, Robin!"

Robin smiled back.

* * *

It didn't take long for Robin to pull her wayward captain back to the safety of the Sunny, positioning him carefully on the grass. She stepped off the lion's head to join him there, ghostly limbs disappearing in a flurry of petals, and she allowed herself a faint sigh of relief.

It was fortunate she'd been on her way to the kitchen for a late night cup of tea and had noticed him sitting there by himself; she'd stopped on her way to the galley and watched as the boy stared up at the stars, a peaceful smile on his face which she'd found herself mirroring. Luffy, being Luffy, had a ridiculously infectious smile.

Then he'd blinked, and his smile had suddenly fallen. He'd started shaking uncontrollably, hands wringing together as if he were trying to wash _blood_ off his hands, scrubbing and scrubbing until the rubber flesh had turned red. Worry had bubbled up within her as she'd called out to him only to receive no response until the third time, in which he'd staggered so violently – as though he'd been pulled from a horrific nightmare – and had nearly fallen to his premature watery end. Only Robin's quick thinking had saved him from such a fate. Had she been a moment later he surely would've drowned.

Robin frowned as she approached her captain still sitting on the grass, still shaking as he hugged himself tight, the bridge of his beloved namesake hiding his down-turned face from view. Seeing him out by himself at such an hour had been odd in itself, but what she'd witnessed moments ago, and what she saw before her now…it worried her greatly.

She knelt beside Luffy, a hand gracing his shoulder comfortingly as she sought to meet his gaze. "Luffy, what happened?" she asked. "I called you several times but you didn't seem to hear me. What's going –?"

She immediately cut herself off, because now Luffy was looking up at her, dark eyes wide and so unbearably afraid and filled with _tears,_ and he was still _shaking,_ if not harder than before, his breathing too fast and getting faster, his lips quivering dangerously –

 _"R-Robin,"_ he whimpered.

Robin started – he'd _whimpered_ – and she doesn't hesitate to pull him to her chest in a tight embrace. Luffy latched onto her immediately as he threw her arms around her waist, burrowing his tear-stained face against her shoulder, hands clenching the folds of her shirt in trembling fists.

He was crying, barely holding back sobs through clenched teeth as he burrowed deeper against her, almost desperately, and Robin held him closer, one hand rubbing soothing circles along Luffy's back, the other sliding his namesake off his head to card tender fingers through his dark curls.

She knew what this was, had a pretty good idea of what had been the trigger, and knew what to do to calm her frightened captain before the attack could turn into something worse. She'd had many attacks herself in the past; she _still_ had them, even now, so many years after the destruction of Ohara, her home, her people, her mother…Franky and Chopper were the only ones who knew, and she intended to keep it that way lest she worried the rest of her nakama. Perhaps that's what Luffy'd had in mind as well.

Luffy's shivering had begun to die down the longer she held him, the crushing hold around her waist loosening somewhat, but not relinquishing. Gently rocking back and forth like a mother would rock her crying infant, Robin whispered into his ear, "Luffy, I need you to take deep breaths. Can you do that for me please?"

After a moment she felt Luffy nod against her shoulder, and he attempted to do as she asked. But when he breaths in deep it comes like a shuddering gasp for air, and he grunted loudly in tearful frustration in knowing that wasn't what Robin wanted. Despite this, Robin only closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, exhaling with a long sigh. She repeated this, and soon Luffy began to mimic her.

Finally, _finally_ , Luffy stopped shaking, going limp in Robin's arms but not yet releasing her from his grip. Robin nodded in satisfaction, opening her eyes to look down at the top of Luffy's head. "Very good. Now, Luffy, tell me five things that you feel physically."

Luffy hesitated, shifting as he seemed to wrack his brain. "…I…I feel," he began hoarsely, wriggling his toes and flexing the fingers still clinging to the back of her shirt.

"…I feel…t-the grass…y-your s-shirt…m-my hat…t-the wind…" He paused, shifting again to lay his head against Robin's chest, his eyes closed. He let out a sigh that was almost content. "…your heartbeat."

Robin nodded again. "Good. Now, open your eyes; tell me three things you see."

Swallowing thickly, Luffy tentatively cracked his eyes open and cast his gaze across the deck. "I see…the _Sunny_. I see…the ocean…" He looked up at Robin, looking deep into her eyes. "I see _you_."

Robin smiled at Luffy's success – and to extent, _her_ success – and she resumed threading her fingers through his hair. "Very good, Luffy," she said. "Everything you've described to me is real. Anything else you see is all an illusion, a memory from the past. You're here, in the present, and you are safe. You are with your crew, your nakama; none of us would ever let any harm come to you so long as we live. Do you understand?"

Luffy sniffed one last time, unwinding an arm from around her waist to scrub the remaining tears from his face. Then, at long last, the scarred boy graced her with a watery but genuine smile. "…okay," he breathed with a firm nod before laying his head against her chest again, closing his eyes, content to listen to her heartbeat, and they lapsed into a new comfortable silence.

They stayed that way for a while, sitting in the grass holding each other close; Luffy's embrace, whilst still tight, lacked its earlier desperation and tension.

Robin didn't ask him for any details, didn't ask him for anything, not even for him to move so she could stretch her legs and rid herself of the pins and needles. She simply sat there, her boy captain across her lap, holding him, lending him her own strength just as he had done so many times for her, for _all_ of them…

A sudden gleam caught her eye, and with a soft gasp Robin looked up to see masses upon masses of shooting stars streaking across the night skies, each one brighter than the last before disappearing from existence. Robin smiled. Shooting stars weren't so rare these days, especially not out in the New World, but no matter how many times she witnessed a shower like this one, it never failed to amaze her with its fleeting beauty.

"A bunch'a wishes are being granted tonight, aren't they?"

Blinking out of her inner musings, Robin looked down at Luffy to find him looking up as she had been, brown eyes watching as they stars flew overhead. His expression betrayed nothing as he stared, but his eyes, as always, were alive with wonder, and Robin found herself smiling again at the sight.

"I think they are, Luffy," said Robin. Then, despite herself, she asked, "What do _you_ wish for, captain?"

For what felt like a lifetime, Luffy said nothing in reply. A part of Robin already knew the answer to her question, yet she waited for him to speak. Soon enough, the boy turned to face her with a smile that shone brighter than any star in the sky.

"One of 'em already came true; to be with my nakama!"

Of course, Robin knew that there were far more things the young pirate captain wanted, things that were so close yet so far, but he was nevertheless determined to obtain; One Piece was a fine example of that. And yet there were things that would forever be out of his reach no matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he fought, how hard he pushed himself, how far he went. But his words rang with sincerity, a protective _ferocity_ behind a boyish giggle and a pure, mile-wide smile, and in the face of it Robin could only return it.

"I was thinking the same thing, captain," she says instead, and was rewarded when Luffy giggled again, removing his hat from where it hung around his neck to plop it on her head instead.

Luffy let her go and shuffled off her lap, allowing her to stretch her legs out and lean back with her hands braced atop the grass, a lazy stance she seldom acquired even when she was most at ease. Once she was settled, Luffy shuffled a little more before laying his head on her lap, hands resting on his stomach. Behind the contented smile there was a silent plea for her to stay with him, just a little longer. She answered him by fondly ruffling his already unruly raven mane, and his grin doubled in size.

"Hey Robin, do you know the constellations?" Luffy asked her.

"Yes," she replied, returning her gaze to the stars above; the meteor shower had long since passed, but the stars that 'remained' were no less beautiful. "I read about all the different constellations when I was young. They fascinate me almost as much as the stars themselves."

Luffy blinked up at her. "Oh. That's nice. Can you show me?"

And that was how the archaeologist and the captain found themselves staying up through the night, the raven haired woman pointing out each constellation and explaining them to the young man with his head on her lap who beamed and drank in every word with brown eyes filled with mirth; they eventually began making up their own constellations, with Luffy earning a laugh from Robin when he pointed at a set of stars and exclaimed "That one looks like Sanji's eyebrow!"

In the moments that passed, neither the captain nor his fellow nakama thought of the fears or the nightmares that plagued their thoughts in the dark; they were left behind in the face of their joy and companionship, at least for now.

Soon enough, Luffy finally drifted off to sleep once more, a peaceful smile spread across his face. Her thumb gently stroking the scar beneath his eye as she cupped his face in her palm, Robin remained where she was, not wanting to wake him and more than willing to serve as a pillow despite the ache in her legs. Pins and needles were a true bane of one's existence.

Her train of thought ground to a halt as the sound of grass disturbed by footfall reached her ears; the presence she'd felt for quite some time finally decided to emerge from the shadows, it seemed.

"Need a hand?"

Robin chuckled, looking up at the green-haired swordsman standing at her side, arms folded over his broad, scarred chest. Of course Zoro had heard Luffy's distress and had come to his captain's aid; even in his deepest slumber the aspiring swordsman could sense when the straw hatted boy they called their captain was in need, something Robin truly admired and respected about the man, as did the rest of the crew. Even Sanji, though the cook would rather die than admit it aloud.

"I thought you knew by now that I already have plenty of hands to help me, Zoro," she teased, not bothering to hide her amusement when the young man scowled in response. Without comment or instruction, Zoro bent down and scooped Luffy into his arms, lifting him with ease from the ground and from Robin's lap, holding him securely. Robin stood without a hitch despite her tingling legs, brushed off the grass stains on her dress skirt and gazed down at the boy in Zoro's arms; Luffy had always been small for his age, almost worryingly small, but he'd never looked as small as he did then, fast asleep tucked against the swordsman's chest like a child. In truth he _was_ still a child, for all that he'd been forced to endure…

The captain didn't stir or wake at the shift in position, instead burrowing further against Zoro before humming contentedly. Robin giggled behind her hand, and Zoro sent her a hard glare and a dark growl that failed to intimidate the older woman as she slipped the straw hat off and returned it to its rightful place on Luffy's head. The old thing contained dreams, childhood ambitions and memories that could chase away any lingering doubts or fears; Luffy needed it more than she ever would.

"The stars _are_ pretty bright tonight," Zoro said, and Robin looked up at him, but his one-eyed gaze was set upon the twinkling diamonds above. Catching the slight quirk of his lips, Robin smiled again.

"They really are, aren't they?"

With that, after Robin gently brushed a strand of hair from Luffy's face, the two of them went their separate ways to return to their cabins. And in the strong and secure arms of his first-mate, Luffy no longer dreamed of the biting cold that came after the dying flames of his precious guiding light. Instead, he dreamed of new warmth, new lights surrounding him in a protective circle as they gazed upon the stars that lay just out of reach on the grassy deck of a ship of dreams.

And he smiled.

* * *

 **A/N ~ I hope you enjoyed that, and more are on the way! Gosh I love Robin, I hope I did her justice :)  
**


	7. Chapter 7: Language of Flowers

**A/N ~ YOOOOOO! It's been _forever_ since I've updated anything, like, _wow!_ But with a whole bunch of personal stuff happening, a lot of stress and emotional issues, it's been hard to even think of writing much. Though I _am_ working on my own original story so there's that XD  
**

 **Also, to those of you who are waiting for me to update NLIG; I'm half-way through the chapter, don't worry, I WILL update it very soon, but I'm working more than I really _should_ be, so just be patient for a little while longer :)**

 **This one is another Robin focused one, and because I'm a huge sucker for FrankyXRobin (Frobin? XD)I thought this would be a cute idea XD**

 **I OWN NOTHING!**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **The Language of Flowers**

Another shriek of laughter caused Robin to look up from her book and look over the railing of her little garden in mild surprise. But at the sight of Usopp and Chopper playing with Franky on the grassy deck, the sniper and the reindeer hanging off the cyborg's gargantuan arms like a pair of monkeys as he spun in place, she smiled. The teenagers had yet to overcome their awe over their shipwright's two year upgrade, though Robin herself failed to see what all the fuss was about; he was bigger and stronger (and shinier) yes, but the extent of the boys' excitement seemed a little overboard, even for them.

Nevertheless, the three of them were having the time of their lives; Franky hollered _"SUUUPEEERR!"_ and spun faster and faster, earning another round of excited screeches from the younger pirates as they struggled to hold on. She sincerely hoped that Franky didn't spin _too_ fast; what if the teens ended up flying overboard and drowned in the sea below? Or worse, what if there were sea kings lying in wait for the perfect opportunity to strike –?

Robin blinked.

 _Where is Luffy?_

She'd been certain she'd seen him playing on the lawn with Usopp and Chopper moments ago, and unless he'd heard his stomach calling and had run to the galley to bother Sanji not much could get the boy captain away from a good game…

"Hey, Robin!"

Barely hiding the jolt of surprise at the sudden appearance of her captain –surely she would've been used to this sort of thing by now – Robin turned to the beaming face inches away from hers, and smiled. "Hello, Luffy," she greeted warmly, setting her book down on her lap after marking the page for later; she had a hunch whatever her captain wanted or needed from her would take a while. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Dark eyes wide and gleaming with adoration and curiosity that all but melted her heart, Luffy nodded. "Actually, yeah." He bounded from where Robin reclined in her lawn chair and sat beside the flower bed, legs crossed. Robin stifled a giggle behind her hand at his usual childlike mannerisms that never ceased to lighten her mood, and as he pointed at the assortment of flowers, Luffy asked her, "What do these mean?"

At that, Robin furrowed her brows in confusion. Well, she certainly hadn't been expecting _that_. Then again, Luffy had the tendency to surprise her at every turn, as well as being quite vague with his questions; perhaps some further prompting would help shed light on the subject. "What do you mean, Luffy?" she asked, setting her book safely aside to stand and move to join Luffy at the flower bed, folding her skirt delicately behind her knees as she knelt beside her curious captain.

"You told me once that flowers all have a different meaning or something, right?" he clarified, and Robin raised her eyebrows in understanding as Luffy pointed back to the flowers. "So can you tell me what all of these mean?"

Robin smiled again. Luffy very seldom found any interest in what he would refer to as 'normal stuff', always drawn to the more strange and exciting things this world had to offer – the cyborg below them was a fine example of that, as well as most of the other members of the crew. But in the rare moments he _did_ he would always seek Robin out, for she, being an archaeologist, knew practically _everything_ (this wasn't true in the slightest, but it amused her to no end). And Robin had no qualms in answering whatever questions Luffy shot her way; it was always a pleasure for her to teach someone something new.

After beckoning Luffy closer – again hiding a grin at the way the boy scooted over like a puppy with an itch on its rear – Robin went through each of the flowers she'd planted, explaining what they 'meant' in ways Luffy would understand; several times she replaced words with 'mystery', both keeping Luffy focused and earning a giggle out of him in the process.

Once she'd finished, Luffy sat back on his hands and let out an exhausted sigh. "Man, flowers sure have a _lot_ of meanings," he muttered, looking quite weary.

"They do. That's what makes them so interesting," said Robin. "Flowers can even be used for sending secret messages because of that, in a language called floriography."

The Straw Hat captain perked _right_ up at that, pinning Robin with a wide-eyed look that screamed 'tell me _everything'_ as he shuffled even closer _._ "Secret messages? You mean like what spies do? Or _ninjas?"_ he asked, eyes growing wider with awe.

This time Robin laughed. "Well I'm not sure about ninjas, but certainly those of nobility used them in order to tell someone something without actually speaking to one another. For example…"

She held up a finger, and Luffy leaned in much closer as if doing so would help him pay more attention.

"If you received a bouquet of Lupins, Hollyhocks, White Heather and Ragged Robin, then someone is wishing you good luck in all your goals and dreams," she began, smiling when Luffy grinned at the idea of the crew receiving such flowers for achieving their own dreams. "However, if they send you a collection of Delphiniums, Hydrangeas, Oleander, Basil and Birdsfoot Trefoil, it means they're thinking negatively of you; the Hydrangea and the Delphinium mean 'you're heartless and haughty', the Basil means 'I hate you', and the Oleander and Birdsfoot mean 'Beware my revenge'."

A short silence lingered after that, the weight of Robin's words bearing heavily upon them.

Then Luffy blinked. "…that's really complicated," he muttered, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "I dunno if I get all of it. But you do, so that's okay."

Robin giggled. Well, at least he'd gotten _some_ of the most important parts. "It's fine if you don't understand, Luffy; not many people do," she appeased, summoning a ghostly hand to emerge from Luffy's shoulder and tip his hat back, ruffling his raven head fondly. "Still, it is rather fascinating, don't you think? How a simple flower can mean something so grand and exciting, or something dangerous and sinister."

Leaning into the touch of the phantom hand, Luffy shrugged. "Yeah, that's kinda cool I guess," he said offhandedly, but Robin took no offense. She _was_ partially caught off-guard when he suddenly asked, "What's your _favorite_ flower, Robin?"

The woman blinked at him, and then a warm smile touched her lips as she looked down at her collection of beautiful plants, one hand gently brushing the petals of a red rose. "Well, I've always been especially partial to the rose, as typical as it seems…" she said softly.

"The rose means 'love', right?"

"It does, Luffy, well done for remembering. However, I'm also very fond of the Casablanca. Unfortunately I don't have the seeds for that flower, so I can't plant them just yet. Perhaps at the next island…"

Luffy tilted his head. "Hm? What's a Ca – Cash – Casawhata?" he asked, almost disgruntled when Robin let out a rare smirk at his mispronunciation.

"It's called the _Casablanca_ , Luffy," she corrected and tapped his scrunched-up nose playfully, prompting his smile to return. "The _Casablanca._ It's a beautiful white flower, and it's unique among most flowers because it only has _one_ meaning; 'Celebration'."

"Celebration?" Luffy echoed. "Celebration for what?"

"Anything, really; it all depends on the person you give it to and the occasion behind it. You could give it to someone on their birthday, perhaps, or after achieving a long-time goal."

As if digesting this, Luffy stared at her for a heartbeat more. "That sounds nice. So your favorite flowers are Roses and Casamabobs, right?"

Deciding to let his mispronunciation slide, Robin simply nodded. "That's right."

Then Luffy grinned, wide and full of warmth and affection as he hopped back to his feet. "Okay, thanks Robin! The flower language stuff was really cool too, even though I didn't get most of it!" he chimed brightly, bending down at the last second to plant a kiss on her cheek before clearing the railing in one leap, landing with a bounce on the deck and bolting towards Franky without a hitch in his stride.

Robin watched him go, a hand touching the cheek her captain had affectionately kissed. She smiled as she got to her feet, intent on going back to reading her book until they reached the next island which, according to Nami and the silhouette of greenery up ahead, would be a few hours before nightfall. However, as she reclined in her lawn chair and reached for her book, a knowing glint lit up in her steel blue eyes.

 _What are you up to, Luffy?_

* * *

As their navigator had predicted, they reached the island mere hours before nightfall, and Luffy, Usopp and Chopper were immediately enthralled by the shimmering lights decorating the port leading into the village brimming with people, most of whom were dressed in outlandish yet jovial attire; many were singing and dancing, juggling or performing impressive if not rather showy aerobics, and hollering joyously from the many food stalls for people to 'roll up, get fresh treats to fill your gut for the festivities!'

On the deck of the _Thousand Sunny,_ the Straw Hat crew shared collective smiles, all varying in degrees of memorization or downright giddiness.

"It appears we've dropped anchor just in time for this island's festive season!" cried Brook, throwing his bony hands in the air with glee. "Just look at the town, how it shimmers and shines, it's stupendous, it's blinding! Then again, I have no eyes to be blinded, _Yohohohohoho!"_

Sanji blew out a small cloud of smoke through his nostrils, lowering his cigarette as he smiled and took in the sights. "Guess there's no point in staying on the Sunny when an excuse to party is right in front of us."

"You mean another excuse for you to drool over every other woman under eighty?"

"The _hell_ did you just say to me, moss-head?"

"What, is smoke filling your _ears_ now, curly brow?"

"Why don't you _bite_ me you sunova –!"

" _Okay_ that's enough," Nami cut in keenly, separating Sanji and Zoro before yet another brawl could break out, ignoring the way the growled at each other like hounds. "We'll split up, gather supplies for tomorrow, enjoy ourselves a little bit, and then meet back here at the port by midnight, got it? Sanji, you go with Luffy and Zoro –"

 _"I'll do anything you ask of me my dearest Nami-swan! Even if Zoro is a complete bas –"_

"–Brook, you take Usopp and Chopper –"

"As you wish, Nami. And before we part ways might I see your –"

"–and I'll go with Franky and Robin. I'm gonna hand everyone their allowance for the night, so don't spend it all in one place because _I'm not handing out any more of my precious Belie to the moron who runs out first due to his drinking habits._ Are we good?"

With collective shouts and nods of agreement – aside from Zoro, who muttered 'witch' under his breath and quickly earned himself a bloody nose for his troubles – the crew ushered off the ship and split into their collective groups.

Whilst Nami and Franky veered off to separate stalls, be it clothes and masks or trinkets and toys, Robin instead found a bench in front of a large, beautiful fountain with stone statues of dolphins and merfolk, all of which were decorated with glittering lights much like the rest of the town, and sat down there with a sigh of contentment. It'd been quite some time since they'd anchored at a party island – too long since they'd had the chance to _party –_ and to see her nakama mingle about in the crowds, all smiling and happy and laughing as they danced along with the music was a breath of fresh air, the most welcome sight.

However, for the time being, Robin was satisfied to simply sit back and watch, listen, rather than get swept along in the tide of people. She could still enjoy herself just as much as the rest of her crew just by observing, regardless of what others – namely Luffy and Usopp – seemed to think whenever they saw her 'sit out' during such merrymaking.

" _Wow!_ Hey, Robin! There you are!"

Robin blinked out of her musings when Franky stepped out of the crowds – with his size and girth it was a simple task as people automatically moved to let him pass – and approached her with a wide grin. One hand was held behind his back, and though Robin could have easily used her devil fruit abilities to see what the cyborg hid, she chose instead to rise to her feet and return his smile. "Hello Franky. Are you enjoying yourself?"

Something in her smile must have undone something within the man as he faltered, his cheeks suddenly turning a bright shade of pink as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "U-Uhm, yeah, I'm doing great, this place is _super_ crowded, full of good…stuff!" He cleared his throat roughly, cursing under his breath at his stuttering, and Robin regarded him curiously. What had gotten into their confident, boisterous shipwright?

"Franky, is everything alright?" She took a step closer, raising one hand to touch his forehead and check his temperature –

" _Here! F-For you!"_

 _–_ and was met instead with a bouquet of beautiful flowers.

"Eh?" was all Robin could think to say as she blinked rapidly, willing her brain to catch up to what was held out before her. Eyes wide in surprise, Robin stared at the assortment, instantly recognizing the blood red hue of the roses. But it was what stood out from the crimson that truly captured her…

 _White flowers, drooping petals, green and yellow in the center, flourishing beautifully…_

 _Casablanca?_

She stared for a moment longer, then looked up to Franky to find the cyborg's face as red as the roses he presented to her, sweat trickling down his brow. "Franky…" she breathed, the beginnings of a smile touching her lips. "How…?"

"I, uh," Franky stammered, and if he had a buttoned collar for his shirt he'd certainly be tugging at it. "I heard – _read_ somewhere that these flowers meant 'love' and 'celebration' or something like that. And since you like flowers so much I thought – I mean I _figured_ – I dunno, that you…maybe…"

Franky continued to stumble over himself horrendously, but Robin's smile stretched wide.

 _Ah. I see now._

It was common knowledge that Luffy couldn't tell a lie to save his life; the poor boy couldn't even lie about not being able to lie. So whilst her attention had been elsewhere, Franky must've told the young captain to ask Robin what her favorite flowers were and what they meant, then to report back to him, not telling him _why_ in case she became curious.

 _Clever move, Franky. Very clever indeed._

She stifled a giggle behind her hand, and Franky stopped talking at the sound as she reached out and gently took the flowers from his massive hand, holding the bouquet close and inhaling the sweet aromas. "How sweet of you, Franky," she said, gracing him with her warmest smile. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

Something in her smile must have undone the cyborg shipwright in some way, for in the next moment he was blushing _hard_ as he turned his head away, idly scratching the back of his head, looking absolutely _anywhere_ but at her. "U-Uh yeah, don't sweat it," he said, trying to act casual yet failing miserably. He cleared his throat roughly, having possibly summoned the Will of D to banish the blush from his face by force, and his usual cocky grin returned. "Say how's about we get back to the others? I think I saw Brook with the kids at a café close by –"

He stopped once again when a phantom arm sprouted from his left shoulder, bearing a rose between dainty fingers in its hand. He watched as the hand tucked the flower behind his ear – thank _god_ there were no thorns – before disappearing in a flurry of pink petals. Franky blinked, once, twice, and turned to look back down at Robin who was already several steps ahead of him, still cradling the bouquet with the care of a mother and her child.

She cast him a glance over her shoulder, and upon noticing his stupefied gaze, she smiled again. "Rose suits you," she said. "And for the record, you and Luffy make excellent partners in crime."

Robin watched for a moment longer as steam suddenly burst out of Franky's ears like a boiled kettle, chuckling as she continued down the path towards the café the rest of the crew had gathered at. Franky fell into step with her moments later, having recovered from his 'overload'.

Five minutes later, they spotted the familiar straw hat surrounded by a throng of bodies squeezed together on a small table not really fit for seven – soon to be nine – and when Luffy caught sight of them approaching, the boy stood and waved his arm excitedly. The others followed his gaze, and Robin saw the exact moment in which they realized what had kept them so long.

Franky had long since steeled his expression, but the flower behind his ear remained, and the bouquet of Casablanca and Roses sat nestled against Robin's breast with care. The smile she'd been unable to wipe off her face since she'd received her gift only grew when several pairs of eyes widened – apart from Brook, for he had no eyes _yohoho –_ and a few jaws dropped. Zoro grinned, and Sanji offered Franky a two-fingered salute.

Robin flicked her eyes to Franky again, who'd stiffened at the crew's reactions, pink tinting his cheeks. Franky was a better liar than Luffy was, but in the end it wouldn't matter what he _or_ Robin told their nakama once they joined them at the table too small for the nine of them.

The flowers had their own language; they could speak for themselves.

* * *

 **A/N ~ Awww Franky you big lug! Thank you for reading and for your patience, and more are on the way. Feel free to send me any requests; I'm _always_ open!  
**

 **And don't worry, I _promise_ to update NLIG next! :D**


	8. Chapter 8: Am I Though?

**A/N ~ Hey guys! So for this one, I've been _Dying_ to write Sabo (the beautiful man and big brother of Luffy you guys have _no idea_ how much I cried when I found out Sabo was alive and that Luffy wasn't alone anymore :'D) But I wasn't sure if I could do him justice, so I went onto Tumblr to gain some inspiration and found sableu's blog, and she posted something that I thought 'I must write this, it's too precious'. So I did. XD  
**

 **This is kinda crack-ish but not _full_ crack...let's just call it fluff XD**

 **I OWN NOTHING!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **(P.S: I _ADORE_ Sabo's English Dub voice, Vic was the _perfect_ choice for him! So for those of you who watch FMA, you might spot something XD)**

* * *

 **Am I Though?**

Sabo had been training to use Haki for years, a task that had not been easy to say the least (and with Dragon as his teacher no less). At nineteen years old, he was confident that his Armament Haki was the most developed of the two he'd learned; he'd started imbuing his pipe with it during battle, and whilst it was somewhat draining even for him, it was very effective. His Observation Haki was still a bit sketchy at times, and he couldn't even blame his left eye for it. Nevertheless, he was improving, getting stronger every day, and he was proud of himself.

However in _this_ particular instance, he didn't _need_ his Observation to know that Elric, a fellow colleague he'd known for years since he'd joined the Revolutionary Army, was staring at him from the other side of the room from the corner of his eye. They were sorting through documents that Dragon had wanted to dig up again after recent happenings in the South Blue, and though the silence had at first been companionable, Sabo was starting to feel…awkward.

Just when he was about to give in and ask Elric what his deal was, the man himself spoke up, "…I don't mean to be weird or anything, but chief, you know…"

Sabo looked up from the cabinet he'd been sifting through and turned to Elric expectantly. "Hm?"

Elric shifted, looking suddenly uncomfortable as heat crept up his neck and turned his cheeks pink. "Uh well, this is just an observation really, but," he said, rubbing the back of his head abashedly. "…you're really pretty."

Sabo nearly dropped the papers in his hands as he stared at Elric blankly. Elric stared back for a moment before clearing his throat roughly and turning back to his own stack of files, the conversation left awkwardly at that. Sabo blinked once more.

Huh?

Sabo was…pretty?

 _Huh?_

Did…did people actually think that, or was it just Elric? Then again Elric _did_ have a relationship with Mary that was clearly more than just a professional one but…still…

 ** _Huh?_**

Sabo was _pretty_?

It was only until Elric announced that he'd found the documents that Sabo realized he'd been virtually standing there staring into space for the past five minutes, and he snapped out of his trance and followed the man out of the room and back into the hallways of Baltigo's base.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Sabo could think of almost nothing else other than the comment Elric had made. He'd even looked at himself in the mirror to understand _how_ or _why_. He stared into the reflective surface, turning his head this way and that; blonde curls he'd decided to let grow out, blue eyes with a hint of green (aside from the left eye, left discolored due to whatever incident had left the scars that marred that side of his face and half his body), the shape of his face, his skin easily tanned, his build…

Sabo thought himself to be a lot of things over the years; a soldier, a friend, the Chief of Staff, an amnesiac, a little crazy maybe – a _monster,_ a criminal, in the eyes of enemies or the world government – but, holy hell, he'd never pegged himself as _pretty_ of all things. He'd never even considered it.

So later that evening, as he and Koala were finishing up the final stack of reports until they retired to their rooms, Sabo stood abruptly from his desk and asked, point-blank because he couldn't quite take it anymore, "Hey Koala, am I…pretty?"

Koala's pen froze over her final report. She lifted her head and slowly turned in her chair to face him, and any other day at any other time Sabo would've laughed at the look she was giving him. "…what the hell kind of question is that?" she asked him.

Sabo gestured himself, namely his face, and pinned her with his own look that screamed ' _I don't know either but I can't stop thinking about this so help me I'm desperate'._ " _Am_ I though?" he insisted.

Koala opened her mouth to answer, and then slowly closed it. Blue eyes stared at him, looking him up and down, calculating and considering, and Sabo waited in silence, though his patience was wearing thin. Finally, Koala leaned back in her chair, looking defeated yet slightly awed, and muttered,

"Goddammit."

Sabo blinked. "Hm?"

"You really are," she said. "That's so annoying."

 _"How is that annoying?!"_

 _"I dunno,_ it just –" the young woman gestured wildly at nothing, "it just _is!"_

"You're making _no sense,_ oh my god."

"Hey _you_ asked _me_ if _you_ were **_pretty!_** _You're_ the one not making any sense here, Chief! Where - where the hell did that even _come_ from?!"

"Elric said so!"

"Out of the blue?!"

 _"Yes!"_

 _"Why?!"_

 _"I don't know!"_

"Hey, what's going in in here?"

It was then that Hack burst in through the door, pinning the two humans with a confused and somewhat annoyed gaze. "You're aware of what time it is, aren't you? What's with all the yelling?" the fishman asked, looking at Sabo in particular.

Noticing his stare, Sabo pouted. "Why're you looking at _me_ when you ask that?"

"Because you're the one who causes the most trouble."

"I resent that."

"Hack," Koala snapped her fingers to gain the fishman's attention, and both he and the young blond turned to her as she jabbed a thumb at Sabo. "Do you think Sabo's pretty?"

Hack stared at her, then looked at Sabo. "What kind of question is that?" he muttered.

" _Is_ he though?!" Koala cried at the same time Sabo cried " _Am I_ though?!"

Hack then turned his full attention to Sabo, a webbed hand stroking his admittedly extravagant mustache as he hummed thoughtfully. Just as Sabo began to feel just a tad like a lab experiment under the fishman's intense gaze, Hack dropped his hand back to his side, his expression unreadable as always.

"…Goddammit."

Sabo's jaw dropped, and Koala threw her head back and howled with laughter. " _Seriously?!"_

Outside the room, Revolutionaries heard the mini shouting match as they moved down the hallways, catching bits and pieces of the conversation, and whilst some laughed and some shook their heads with exasperated grins, Dragon, leader of the Revolutionary Army and reputed as the most dangerous man in the eyes of the government, shook his head and sighed from his seat in his own office a few doors down.

 _Don't they have work to get on with?_ He muttered inwardly as he scanned through sheets of data. Outwardly though, he found himself smirking in wry amusement.

 _He_ is _prettier than other nobles I've met, that's for sure._

* * *

 **A/N ~ There you go! Sabo's pretty XD! Special thanks to sableu for letting me write about this beautiful blond human disaster XD Remember, don't hesitate to put in requests for any future one-shots you'd like to see, I'm all ears! Thanks for reading, and more are on the way :)  
**


	9. Chapter 9: That's What Nakama Do

**A/N ~ Hello! Wow, two different updates in one day?!**

 **This one was a request off tumblr, some Usopp and Chopper bonding. Of course I had to go and make it kinda sad because I'm a turd, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! As for any requests you guys may or may not have already put down, I shall get to them I promise! XD**

 **I OWN NOTHING AT ALL AND THAT'S SAD XD**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **That's What Nakama Do**

 _"…sopp…ke up…Usopp…hear me?!"_

Voices pierced through Usopp's semi-consciousness, sounding scared and helpless and a _hell of a lot like Chopper_ , and Usopp wanted nothing more to soothe his fears, open his eyes and beat the living daylights out of the bastard who'd _dared_ to scare their doctor, his best friend, make him close to _tears_ –

 _"Usopp…get up…!"_

Wait a second…why were his eyes closed in the first place? He didn't remember going to sleep in the middle of the day, and whatever he was lying on _definitely_ wasn't his bed. The last thing he remembered was –

 _They were exploring a cave by the shore, Luffy leading the way with reckless abandon and joyous laughter bouncing off the walls. Usopp, Chopper, Nami, Zoro and Robin weren't far behind, leaving Sanji, Franky and Brook to guard the Sunny and prepare lunch for when they returned. They weren't the only ones exploring the cave, however, and when the other group of dangerous yet clearly idiotic pirates figured that out, they attacked them with guns and canons. The cave trembled violently, rocks showering down from above and Luffy was shouting at them to get the hell out, and Usopp had only a split second to grab Chopper before –_

Oh crap.

Usopp groaned, both in irritation and in pain as he shifted where he lay on the cold hard stone floor of the cave. Awareness returned to him fully, and he finally felt the trembling cloth-covered hoof pressing against his forehead, felt droplets of water landing like rain on his cheek, and he finally cracked his eyes open to find the familiar and beloved face of his little reindeer friend staring down at him with impossibly wide eyes filled with tears.

"Usopp!" the doctor cried, applying more pressure to Usopp's bleeding temple. "Are you alright?! Tell me where it hurts!"

 _Everywhere, that's where,_ Usopp wanted to say, but he decided against it; he was still partly out of it, but he was coherent enough not to mess with the distressed reindeer, especially considering their current predicament…which was _what_ , exactly? He couldn't remember much after he'd grabbed Chopper and pulled him underneath him, acting as a shield against the falling rocks…

"…where…where are we?" Usopp wheezed, finding it difficult to breathe for the first time; must've cracked a rib or something. And he was pretty sure he'd twisted his ankle and pulled something in his left arm because holy _crap_ did it hurt like a mother –

Chopper sniffed loudly. "W-We were buried in the rocks when the cave started to collapse," he stammered, and through the dizzy haze Usopp could see the masses of stones piled over them like a dome, far too close for comfort and it was sheer _luck_ that he and Chopper hadn't been crushed. "L-Luffy went after the other pirates, I think, I-I heard him y-yelling…Nami went to go g-get the others…I think Z-Zoro's buried, too, a-and I d-don't know where Robin is…"

 _Dammit all to hell_. Just their luck; couldn't they have one day, just _one freaking day_ , without some near-death disaster falling upon them? Why couldn't they have just stayed on the _Sunny_ or even on the beach and had a picnic? Why did they have to give in to Luffy's god damn puppy eyes all the damn time –?

Chopper's sniffing had increased, and he'd lifted his hoof from Usopp's head to scrub at his eyes with his arm, shoulders trembling and teeth grinding together to bite back the sobs that wracked his throat. "…W-why…w-why did you do that?!" he wailed. "Why didn't you keep running, y-you would've made it out in one piece, y-you wouldn't be _hurt –!"_

"Ch-Chopper, Chopper stop," Usopp coughed, lifting a wavering dust caked to lay it atop the reindeer's hat. Chopper fell silent under his hand, and he moved his arm to stare down at Usopp with reddened eyes still overflowing with tears. Swallowing thickly, Usopp tried a smile, and though it hurt to even breathe he _had_ to tell Chopper, make him _understand_ why he'd freaking stayed, why he'd _never_ turn his back on his nakama _ever_.

"...you were in trouble…gonna get crushed…had to get to you…don't regret it…" he huffed. "…w-we're nakama, remember? A-and…nakama don't abandon…each other…n-no matter what…"

He'd _meant_ to make Chopper feel better, but all that happened was that the kid started bawling, throwing himself onto Usopp's chest ( ** _owwwwww!_** ) and dampening his overalls with tears and snot. "Y-You stupid bastard! T-That doesn't make me h-happy, you could've _died_ y-you big _dumbass!"_ Chopper sobbed, little hooves grasping at Usopp's overalls as if he were afraid to let go ever again. With a tired smile, Usopp wrapped both muscular arms around his quivering little body and held him close, ignoring the throbbing pain.

 _Call me what you want. I might still be a coward even after two years, but I'd never run away if it meant leaving you behind._ _ **Never.**_

They stayed that way for a while, until Chopper's sobs finally ebbed into pitiful sniffles. Usopp almost lost consciousness twice, but he forced himself to stay awake; not only would Chopper _freak the hell out_ , but the chances of waking up again were slim at best if he did succumb, even with the best doctor in the whole world by his side. They had to find a way out before that happened, or before the air ran out…

"Ch-Chopper," Usopp rasped, and Chopper twitched in his arms. "You…you can dig yourself out…right? Go…go get the o-others –"

 _"No!"_ Chopper cried vehemently, lifting his face from Usopp's chest to glare daggers at the sniper despite the tears still running down his furry face. "Y-You didn't leave me, and I-I'm not gonna leave you! W-We're nakama, remember?! Isn't that what you just told me?! Besides, Luffy a-and the others _will_ find us no matter what! So in the m-meantime I'm gonna treat your injuries and you're gonna stay awake, y-you hear me?!"

Usopp stared at the little creature he held against him, and he smiled, scratching between the reindeer's antlers just the way he liked it. "…yeah…yeah, okay," he said quietly, because talking any louder made his _everything_ ache. "I'll do my best, Doctor Chopper."

And he did try. He really did. But even with Chopper going from telling him stories of his time on the island full of giant birds to frantically slapping his face, Usopp slowly began to slip back into darkness; the air was getting thinner, his head growing lighter, and he just couldn't keep his eyes open anymore…

 _Sorry, Chopper._

Then he heard the sound of shifting rocks, Chopper crying out, and then Sanji's panicked shout –

 _"I found 'em!"_

As the last fragments of consciousness slipped from his fingers, Usopp smiled, knowing that he and Chopper were safe, they were going to be fine, and when he woke up he'd be surrounded by their nakama; Luffy would be beaming wide and happy and relieved, Sanji would bitch at them for freaking them all out like that, Nami and Franky would probably cry, Robin would say something morbid about them almost getting squashed by rocks, Brook would make some dumb skull joke, Zoro would be a steady presence in the background, their gruff guardian angel…

And Chopper would be right at his bedside, treating his injuries like always, smiling and laughing and wriggling under the praise of their family –

 _Because that's what nakama do. And nakama don't abandon each other, no matter what._

* * *

 **A/N ~ There you have it! Kinda sad but kinda happy too...bittersweet! I hope you enjoyed that, and more are on the way! :)  
**


	10. Chapter 10: Who Let the Choppers Out?

**A/N ~ ...um...I can explain.**

 **This anon has been requesting this particular scenario on several different blogs on tumblr, and I said I'd write the thing for them because, why not, it's funny, and it was XD There's no excuse I have for this pure crackiness of a fic, but I have no regrets XD**

 **I OWN NOTHING!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Who Let the Chopper's Out?**

"Sanji, can I have one of those sweet apples please?"

The cook couldn't hold back the smile that crossed his face at the beloved voice of their little doctor, their youngest crew mate, and he turned from washing the dishes to the reindeer in question. "Knock yourself out, buddy," he said, and the way the kid's face lit up like a sky full of fireworks warmed Sanji's heart as he plucked an apple from the fruit bowl and handed it to Chopper.

"Thanks, Sanji!" Chopper giggled, already crunching on the apple as he trotted out of the kitchen, his satisfied munching fading as he shut the door behind him. Sanji smiled in that direction for a time before returning to the kitchen, plunging his hands into the soapy waters to finish of the last few dishes left from breakfast.

As much as he griped and bitched about the amount of noise and mess the idiot trio were prone to make on a daily basis, not even Sanji was immune to the childlike innocence and kindness of their reindeer doctor (and all of them were infinitely blessed to know that hadn't changed much even after two years apart), and more often than not he would treat the kid almost as good as he treated the lovely ladies of the crew – _almost_. He wasn't sure if it was the big brown eyes that did or the fact that he was just that much younger than the rest of them that he couldn't _help_ it. Chopper was a lot like Luffy in that regard…

"Hiya, Sanji!"

Sanji blinked, perplexed, and turned to look down as Chopper entered the kitchen again. The little guy was beaming up at him with all the warmth in the world, hooves behind his back, the picture of innocence. Oddly enough there was no trace of the apple he'd taken, and those were the sweet apples; Chopper loved sweet things, liked taking his time with them, and to see it gone so quickly was a little odd.

Hm. Oh well, Chopper was probably peckish, needed to peel his sweet tooth a little before lunch. Sanji didn't mind, as long as he didn't make himself sick in doing so.

"Hey, Chopper. You're back quick," Sanji said, drying his hands on the towel he'd placed on the counter beside his growing pile of clean dishes. "You need something else, bud?"

Chopper tilted his head, fuzzy brow raised. "'Something _else'?"_ he repeated. "I haven't been in here since breakfast."

Sanji's brows furrowed. "…you were literally just here, like, three seconds ago."

Chopper blinked. "I was? Oh, that's strange. I don't remember coming in here..." he trailed off, eyes darting to the side in thought.

Sanji frowned, just as confused as his little friend but for, apparently, vastly different reasons. "Well, you were. You feeling okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine!" Chopper replied, back to his chipper self in an instant as he rocked back and forth on his hooves. "It's nothing, probably just one of those things where you walk into a room and forget what you were gonna do, right?"

Still a little mystified but glad nothing was wrong, serious or no, Sanji chuckled and smiled. "Yeah, I hear you. You want another apple then? You finished the last one pretty quickly."

At that, Chopper's eyes lit up like one of Franky's radical beams. "Oh yesyesyesyes, please!" he squeaked, and Sanji couldn't fight the grin as he handed the furry bouncing ball of joy another apple. The reindeer munched on it happily, trotting back out the door with a wave and a "Thanks Sanji!" before disappearing from the galley again. Sanji watched him go and shook his head fondly.

Chopper was a weird one – hell _all_ of them were weird, like captain like crew after all – but Sanji knew they would never get enough of him.

He'd just turned back to the counter to put away the dishes when the doors of the galley burst open, cracking against the wall and making Sanji nearly jump and drop a whole stack of plates – thank god for his incredible reflexes. He opened his mouth to shout at the rude intrusion but stopped short when he looked down to find –

Chopper was back. Again.

This time however, the teen was panting fiercely, eyes wide and electrified with anxiety as his arms flapped wildly at his sides. "Sanji, Sanji I gotta ask you something, something really important!"

Sanji blinked again, slowly setting the plates down safely. _Now_ he was worried. "What is it, Chopper? You finally remember what you came for? You've been in and out of here, like, twice already."

Chopper froze mid flap and he blanched, his mouth falling open. "I –I was…here…already?" he stammered, a hoof slowly rising to hover over his mouth in what looked like growing horror. "Was – Was I _really_ here a few seconds ago?"

Completely and hopelessly confused beyond hope, Sanji looked Chopper straight in the eye, and nodded very slowly. "Yes. Yes you were. Twice."

A high-pitched squeak escaped the reindeer, and his eyes enlarged to an almost humorous degree. " _Oooohh nooooo,"_ he wailed quietly, and to Sanji's horror his eyes started pooling with tears. " _What have I doooone ~?"_

"Chopper," Sanji knelt down in front of Chopper, hands gently grasping the kid's shoulders. "What's wrong? What did you do?"

Chopper sniffed, and he well and truly looked like he was about to start sobbing and Sanji wasn't entirely confident he could deal with a sobbing Chopper right now. "I…I-I…I was w-working on m-my r-rumble balls a-again, a-a-and there w-was an explosion and I…and I –"

 _"SANJI GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"_

Both the doctor and the chef jumped in fright at Usopp's frantic call from the galley's doorway. Said sniper was out of breath, sweating, his hat askew and his thick, black mane of hair free from its band, fingers gripping the doorway enough to almost splinter the wood. "W-we've – we've got a situation here!" he cried. "It's – it's _crazy,_ it's _impossible_ and I barely escaped with my life –"

"I'm kind of in the middle of a situation _right_ _here_ , Usopp!" Sanji barked with a nod down to Chopper, still sniffling under Sanji's hands. "Unless it's a raid or something what could you _possibly_ need me for –?"

 _"There's an army of Choppers outside!"_

Sanji stared at Usopp. Usopp, still panting a little and pale as a dead man, stared back.

Sanji's eyes drifted down to the Chopper he held, lingered for a moment, and then returned to Usopp.

"You're kidding."

Usopp shook his head, swallowing thickly. "I'm really not. There is a freaking _Chopper Army_ out on the deck right now and Sanji _I physically cannot deal with this –"_

Scooping up a tearful Chopper – one, apparently, out of _many_ – Sanji bolted to the door, nearly knocking Usopp over in the process, and the cook charged to the deck praying to every god out there that Usopp was pulling his leg…

Only to skid to and unsteady stop seconds later, his visible eye popping from its socket and his jaw slack as a flat tire. He stared. And stared. And _stared_.

"What. The. Hell."

Sanji couldn't believe what he was seeing, didn't _want_ to believe it and yet there it was, clear as daylight and sure as the sky was blue and the ocean was wet.

There were at least twenty-nine Choppers milling about the deck. _Twenty-nine Choppers,_ not including the one Sanji had tucked in his arms against his chest blubbering about 'explosions' and 'chemicals gone screwy' and 'I'm so sorry I messed up', which meant in total, there were _Thirty Choppers_ on board the _Thousand Sunny._

Luffy had gathered a good few of them together, ten at least, and was crying with laughter as they pounced and bounced and attacked him with hugs and affectionate nuzzles; the captain was writhing on the grass with mirth, so unbelievably happy under the masses of Chopper clones that the sight was almost cute if not for the fact that there was _more than one Chopper_.

Franky was surrounded by at least three of them, climbing all over his armored self and crowing with excitement over the _'super'_ robot guy; said guy was grinning madly, striking his signature pose.

Nami was surrounded by five Choppers nearby the figure head, all of them bouncing and pleading with Nami to give them some of her tangerines or show them some tricks with her Clima-Tact, and the poor young woman was clueless as to what the hell she was supposed to do, looked downright _disturbed_ , and she looked every which way to find someone to back her up.

With their combined efforts, Brook and Robin managed to put six of them to sleep – Brook was playing a soothing version of Bink's Brew on his violin, and Robin sang along, using her angelic voice to put the reindeer clones under within seconds; she held two of them on her lap, the others piled around her feet like kittens, and the raven-haired archaeologist didn't seem all that fazed by the whole ordeal.

And then there was the moss-head, sleeping under the shade of the tree, surrounded by the last few Chopper clones; one of them dozed peacefully on Zoro's lap, another on his head, leaving the others to either doodle on his face with Usopp's painting set or read a book beside him. Sanji noticed two of them were eating apples.

Sanji stared at the scene laid out before him, various Chopper sounds – be it laughter or excited shrieks or snoring or otherwise – reaching his ears, and the only thing he could say, the only words he could physically conceive to describe the sheer insanity that had happened upon their ship in the middle of nowhere on the seas of the New World was –

"I'm gonna need more sweet apples."

* * *

 **A/N ~ Like I said, pure crack! XD XD XD XD I hope you enjoyed that, and more are on the way :)  
**

 **...and the next one may or may not include a certain blond brother of Luffy's *ahem*Saboisamazing*ahem***


	11. Chapter 11: Cell-Block Sing-A-Long

**A/N: I KNOW IT'S BEEN SO LONG! Life has gotten in the way big time DX  
**

 **Anyways this is an idea I got from an anon (it was ME XD XD) on Sableu on tumblr. It was fun to write, SO fun!**

 **I OWN NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.**

 **Also, to those of you STILL waiting for me o update my other fics: the first draft is now complete, i just need my beta reader to go over it with me before I can post it. I'm sorry it's taking so long, but hank you for your support and patience :')**

* * *

 **Cellmate Sing-A-Long**

Sabo didn't struggle against the firm, rough hands holding him by the arms between two prison guards as he was led down the row of cells, hands cuffed tightly behind his back with sea prism stone. In fact, he only smirked, creepy as it looked, as he swept his gaze across the hall lined on both sides with dank and dirty cells; each one was filled with prisoners, either secluded in a corner by themselves or banging on the bars screaming at the guards for release.

Of course, Sabo had done his research of this particular base beforehand. The Marine Captain, a man who's name Sabo couldn't be bothered to remember so he and Koala just called him The Douche, was known as your typical power-hungry, money grabbing tyrant; he turned a blind eye to those suffering or in need, convicted those who were innocent (or if not, then without so much as a trial), and allowed his men to do as they pleased with the power the man's name held over the small island. Nothing they hadn't dealt with in the past.

But the main reason this guy had caught Dragon's attention was because he seemed to have a thing for producing, selling and collecting weapons. Weapons used specifically against those with Devil Fruit powers. And of course he abused the use of such weapons, and not just on any unfortunate Devil Fruit user he managed to capture…

So that's where Sabo came in. He and his small team – Hack, Koala and three others handpicked by the Chief of Staff himself – were to infiltrate the city and take the guy down, him and his operations, before any more weapons could be traded off to someone far more dangerous. Any info they could gather to help their cause before a certain blond could blow the place up was also advised and would be deeply appreciated.

The first plan was simple. Too simple, though, and because Sabo didn't get the chance to go on the field as often, he botched that plan and decided to get up close and personal with The Douche himself. In other words, rather than sneaking around, he got himself captured to get inside without making a scene.

Sabo smirked to himself again, which went unnoticed by the two smug guards on either side of him. Koala was going to kill him, and Hack would dance on his grave. But hey, he was confident in his abilities, and more than confident in his partners. They could freely sneak around whilst the base's attention was focused on the Revolutionary they'd 'caught'. So the blond man wasn't worried, a nonchalant air about him despite his predicament, calm as he was taken to his temporary place of residence. It wasn't much, of course, apart from a single bench lining along the brick wall at the back of the cell. There wasn't even a bucket. Gross. Well, it was vacant at least. Elbow room for the win.

He didn't stumble when he was all but shoved inside by the guards – he'd call them Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumbass for now, 'cause it worked – and instead he turned to face them with an affronted frown. "Was that really necessary?"

The guards glared at him. "What, you expect to be treated like a noble prince, kid?" Tweedle Dumbass snapped. Sabo barely held back an irate twitch at the bitter irony of that statement.

"Not at all, my friend," he said with a carefree shrug, which wasn't hard considering his hands were still cuffed. "Though I have to ask, can't I get a bigger cell? Far too cramped in here for a fellow like myself, don't you think?"

"You don't get a say in anything, Revolutionary scum!" Tweedle Dumb sneered as he slammed the cell door shut, locking and stuffing the key in his pocket. He grinned, eyes glinting with malice and conceit. "You just sit tight until the captain sends us the word. Your next stop will be Impel Down."

Sabo dipped his head slightly and grinned, discolored eyes aglow in the shadows the brim of his hat cast over his scared face. It was his _favorite_ look, because he knew how scary it looked, how unnerving it must feel to be pinned with such an icy glare and a pure white smile. "Can't wait."

The guards shivered involuntarily at his chilling smile – yes, fear him, fear the scary blond man who could literally set himself on fire – and they quickly moved on, walking back the way they'd come. Once Sabo heard the door shut, he dropped the smile and twisted his bound wrists, wriggling his fingers to rid the numbness. The chains connecting the cuffs together were short, but _just_ long enough for the nimble young man to jump over so his hands were in font again. He rolled his shoulders before digging into his coat pocket, pulling out a small, sliver key.

Marines were _hilariously_ easy to pickpocket.

After a bit of fumbling, the key was inserted and the cuffs fell from his wrists, landing with a heavy thud on the concrete. Fire immediately blossomed across Sabo's shoulders as he heaved a heavy sigh of relief, feeling _much_ better without those accursed things. Guess that's what Luffy must've felt like every time he so much as touched the stuff. It sucked royal balls.

Kicking the cuffs under the bench, he pulled out a pocket watch; he was a little ahead of schedule (one that Koala had begrudgingly agreed to once he'd botched their first plan in favour of his _exciting_ one). The Douche would be returning to the base in three hours from a meeting with some shady business guys who were apparently interested in what he had to offer them. He was sure Koala and the others would find whatever info they were after until they came to Sabo's 'rescue'.

Stuffing the watch away, Sabo moved to the bars (not too close, seastone again, _ugh)_ and looked left and right. No other guards were around, and despite the amount of prisoners held down there it was still oddly quiet, the earlier shouts and cries having died down once it was clear none of them were getting out anytime soon.

Stepping back from the bars, Sabo shrugged and moved over to the bench and lay down across it, crossing his ankles over the other and folding his arms behind his head, tipping his hat over his eyes as he settled down. He'd be alright to take a nap whilst he waited for his chance to move.

For at least ten minutes, he'd settled into a light doze, still as a statue and oddly content when suddenly –

"Sabo?"

The Revolutionary's eyes snapped open in an instant, and he nearly fell on his face in his haste to get to his feet and stumble back to the bars. He knew that voice, knew it _anywhere_ , would _always_ respond to it no matter what and he _seriously couldn't be here right now but –_

 _"Luffy?!"_ he cried, all but slamming against the bars – screw the seastone – as he searched desperately for the owner of the voice he'd missed so dearly since Dressrosa.

Sure enough, a cell down from his on the opposite side, an achingly familiar Strawhat captain came into view, beaming brighter than the sun and wider than the seas when he caught sight of the blond.

"Sabo!" Luffy called, gripping the bars with both hands only to sink to the ground in a pathetic heap as the seastone took effect. It didn't help that he was cuffed with the stuff either, the idiot.

Despite his disbelief and the weakness settling in the longer he gripped the bars, Sabo grinned like a madman. "Luffy! Oh my god, what the hell are you doing here?!" he asked, finally stepping away when the seastone became too much for him to handle. Seriously, though, what the hell were the _chances_?

Luffy promptly picked himself right up again, grinning at Sabo through the bars. "Got caught," he said with a careless shrug. "Me 'n my crew were fighting some Marines in the street and this one guy came up and slugged me over the head with a seastone club. It freaking _hurt_." He lifted his hands to rub the back of his head – and Sabo noticed, with no small amount of burning anger, the thick trail of congealed blood running down the side of his right temple – wincing a little, and looked quite annoyed when he remembered his hands were still restrained.

Brushing aside his ire for now, Sabo sighed and shook his head. "Only you, Luffy," he muttered.

Luffy only snickered like it was one big joke. "Ah well it'll be fine! My crew will be here soon and will probably wreck the place. They looked pretty pissed when I got caught. So, how come _you're_ here, Sabo? Did you get caught, too? Did they hurt you? Wanna join my crew? Are you gonna –?"

"Stop, stop, one thing at a time, Lu," Sabo chuckled. Oh how he'd _missed_ his baby brother. "Yes, I got caught, but not because I was defeated. No, I'm not hurt. No, I'm _not_ joining your crew – stop your pouting you baby – and if they're not here to wreak havoc in the next two hours and forty-five minutes then I'll just break us both out myself. How's that?"

Luffy brightened considerably, nodding hard enough to jostle his hat which was still a little big for him even at nineteen. "Yeah, that'll be great! I can introduce you to the rest of my crew!"

Sabo grinned. "It's decided, then. We still have a while yet so why don't you settle down for a bit?" He retreated from the bars to sit back down on the bench. "You're made of rubber, but that head injury looks nasty, so I suggest you take it easy."

"But I wanna talk to you."

Sabo grinned harder, almost flushing at the adorable whine. God, he was _nineteen_ years old, how was it even possible? What business did he have destroying Sabo's emotions like so? "We have two hours, and then we can talk as much as we want. Just rest for now, little brother." He could _hear_ Luffy's pout from the other side of the room, but the boy complied without much complaint.

Lying back down on the bench, Sabo chuckled, happiness rushing through him like the fire in his veins. His little brother was a reckless rubber idiot, but damn if Sabo wasn't glad to see him.

* * *

An hour passed and Sabo was getting restless, which was a little unusual; he was normally pretty good when it came to waiting things out. Perhaps it was because Luffy was right there, a hop skip and a jump away from hugging, and injured to boot. He could always pick the locks and go to him, but that would mean botching the mission.

Sabo frowned. He'd told Admiral Fujitora that he'd be there for his little brother regardless of his position as the No.2 of the Revolutionary Army, but if he messed this up it would mean both their heads in the long run. The Douche had enough seastone in his arsenal to down sea kings, and should he be allowed to sell them to those who would abuse its power more than he'd ever had… the consequences made Sabo shiver.

The young man sighed, twirling his hat absently between his hands as he lounged on the bench. He still had another hour or so to go –

"SABOOO!" Luffy shouted from across the way, making Sabo jump a little; the walls were pretty thick, so yelling was warranted, but still.

"YEAH?" Sabo yelled back, grinning from ear to ear when he heard several prisoners jump in fright or yell at them to shut up.

"'M BORED AS HELL."

"ME TOO, LU. JUST WAIT A LITTLE BIT LONGER."

Luffy whined a little bit, like a kicked puppy, and Sabo chuckled. "YOU WANNA SING SOMETHIN' TO PISS OFF THE GUARDS?" the boy then asked.

Sabo smirked. That sounded absolutely awesome. "LIKE WHAT?"

"I DUNNO. I ONLY REALLY KNOW BINK'S BREW OFF BY HEART. YOU START."

Sabo pursed his lips in thought, humming a little under his breath.

"…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON _EVERYBODY'S_ NERVES ~!"

Luffy burst out into infectious laughter. "NO, NO NOT THAT ONE. TRY SOMETHING ELSE."

Sabo hummed again in thought. Then he beamed. "IIIIIT'S A SMALL WORLD AAAAAFTER AAALLLLL ~!"

"OH GOD NO, **_ANYTHING_** BUT THAT!" Shouted a man in the cell directly across Sabo's, his and his buddies hands over their ears. Sabo sat up in surprise. "CAN'T YOU GUYS SING SOMETHING ELSE?"

"LIKE WHAT, OLD GUY?" Luffy asked, and Sabo briefly wondered why they were still shouting.

"I DUNNO, SOMETHING THAT WON'T MAKE OUR GODDAMN EARS BLEED!" the first guy replied.

"HOW ABOUT THIS?" called another voice from further down, this one distinctly female. "I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS (DEE-LEE-DEE-DEE-DEE!) THERE THEY ARE, STANDING IN A ROW -!"

"BIG ONES!"

"SMALL ONES!"

"SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!" Sabo boomed between bouts of hysterical laughter.

"IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?" shouted yet _another_ voice, and Sabo was infinitely glad that he'd decided to linger; this was the best thing ever. "SING ANOTHER SONG!"

"I'VE GOT ONE!" Sabo called, and then cleared his throat. It wasn't often that he had the chance to sing in front of an audience. " _COME ABOARD AND BRING ALONG ~ ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS~!"_

Not even ten words into the song and Sabo was interrupted by the sound of some guy sobbing his heart out. "YOU SING LIKE AN ANGEL! BLESS YOU, MAN, BLESS YOU!"

Sabo clamped his mouth _shut_. Luffy gave himself hiccups with his laughter whilst Sabo earned himself quite the healthy blush at the compliment from some emotional dude he couldn't even see. What even was going on anymore? Ah well, it was the most fun he'd hand in _forever_ , so better to shrug it off and roll with it. It was a good pastime, if nothing else.

"I'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE!" cried another guy. "ANY PIRATES IN THE HOUSE?"

 ** _"I'M A PIRATE!"_** Luffy shrieked eagerly, his claim either echoed or met with fond or startled laughter from their new best friends.

Sabo wasn't far behind, clutching his gut in pain and nearly choking as he hooted. "I DREAMED OF BEING A PIRATE WHEN I WAS A KID. DOES THAT COUNT?"

"'COURSE IT DOES, MATE! I GOT A CLASSIC ONE FOR YA! _YO HO YO HO A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME ~! WE PILLAGE, WE PLUNDER, WE RIFLE AND LOOT ~!"_

 _"DRINK UP ME 'EARTIES, YO HO!"_ Luffy sang, and evidentially Sabo's little brother _was_ capable of singing on key.

" _WE KIDNAP AND RAVAGE AND DON'T GIVE A HOOT!"_

 _"DRINK UP ME 'EARTIES, YO HO!"_

Soon enough, the whole damn cell-block joined their voices in tune to the pirate song of old, regardless of their actually singing ability. Sabo, knowing the song from his early childhood (he and Ace had heard a cluster of geezers sing it around a campfire back in the Grey Terminal and both boys had it stuck in their head for a _year_ ) joined in with gusto even though he wasn't exactly a pirate, and over the harmonies and boisterous voices filling the room with nostalgia and high spirits, Luffy's voice rang out loud and clear like sunshine after rain.

Sabo didn't understand what the hell was going on, or when exactly this had turned into a musical performance, but _dear lord_ he was having the absolute time of his life. The fact that he could hear his precious little brother's laughter above it all only made it all the sweeter. Oh he _wished_ he had a transponder snail handy; he could've recorded the whole thing and showed Koala and Hack later. Lord knew they loved a good musical, especially Hack.

This carried on for thirty minutes straight, switching from song to song – they'd started the 'Lovely Bunch of Coconuts' song again and it was bloody _brilliant_ – rising in volume and ridiculousness, until the guards finally seemed to have had enough.

" _Hey, shut the hell up!"_ one shouted – ah, hello again, Tweedle Dumbass – and silence befell the block once more as all heads turned to glare (pout and whine) at the red faced guards standing at the door. "You damn bastards want a beating?! Quit singing already!"

"SPOILSPORT!" the pirate song guy shouted, and the cell-block erupted once again with laughter, much to the chagrin of Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass.

Sabo approached the bars, peeking out as much as he was able to and grinning wickedly at Tweedle Dumb. "Come now, can't you appreciate what we've created? We've started our own Broadway musical; I call it 'Cell-block Sing-A-Long'. We'll be rehearsing for our first big show in a moment with Strawhat and his solo number, 'I Just Can't Wait to be King of the Pirates'. Care to stay and watch?"

Luffy fell to the floor and rolled with laughter – and people actually did that, okay, that's cute – whilst both guards went red again with annoyance. Sabo could see the veins bulging in his forehead. "You shut your trap, Revolutionary!" Tweedle Dumbass barked irately, marching over to Sabo's cell and muttering under his breath, and Sabo quickly stepped away from the bars and put his hands behind his back again.

"You won't be laughing much longer," Tweedle Dumb said as his partner unlocked the cell, reaching in to grab Sabo roughly by the arm and drag him out into the hall. "Our captain's arrived, and he wants to interrogate you personally before you're sent to Impel Down to rot."

Sabo blinked in surprise. "Oh? He's here?" he asked. He could've _sworn_ Koala and Hack knew, or had at least heard, about that meeting and had gone to add their two Bellie's to the conversation. Perhaps they'd let The Douche go on purpose? Maybe they hadn't seen it at all, or missed them by a hair? He'd have to ask her later.

The guards both smirked as they both held Sabo by the arms and made to lead him back down the hall. "Yeah, he is," Tweedle Dumb replied, mistaking Sabo's curiosity to trepidation. "And believe me, you're in for a world of – huh? The hell are you smiling about?"

Sabo was indeed smiling, but was cold and ruthless with just a hint of blood-thirst, and it didn't reach his eyes. It was a smile he never wanted Luffy to see, and so he made sure he kept his back facing the curious rubber boy peeking behind the bars.

"Well then. If that's the case…" he said slowly, deliberately, taking a twisted sort of joy in watching the guard's faces pale as he allowed his body to heat up little by little in warning. "There's no reason for me to linger here. Thank you both for all of your help. I didn't even need to pick the lock."

Fire leapt and danced along Sabo's arms, enveloping his body as the guards drew their hands back with duel shrieks of pain. The moment they released him Sabo struck like a snake, kicking Tweedle Dumb in the chest to slam him against the bars and dodging a swing of a sabre from Tweedle Dumbass with a spin on his heel. He slammed his knee into the guy's crotch, and when he keeled over gasping in pain, he brought his elbow down on the back of his head, sending the bastard sprawling. They didn't get up again.

Taking off his hat to flick his hair out of his eyes, Sabo rolled his shoulders and grinned as he plopped his hat back on again. "That was easy."

Cheers erupted around him.

"Way to go, brother!"

"That was freaking awesome!"

"How'd you even get those cuffs off?!"

"Dude, Revolutionaries are the best!"

Sabo shook his head and smiled to himself and bent down to retrieve the keys from the unconscious guard. Twirling the set around his finger, he tipped his hat to the two bodies on the ground. "Pleasure doing business with you," he quipped, whistling a merry tune as he made his way over to Luffy's cell. The rubber ball of joy in question was practically vibrating with excitement, stars in his eyes.

"Sabo you are so awesomely awesome!" he cried, and Sabo couldn't help but chuckle as he unlocked the door and swung it open.

"I have my moments."

He made quick work of Luffy's handcuffs, and had barely enough time to open his arms before Luffy barrelled into them with all the force of a hurricane, and Sabo spun them around once and then simply held him close, rubbery arms wrapping around his waist twice over. Luffy buried his smile into Sabo's chest and Sabo, overcome with love for the boy in his arms, dropped his forehead down against his worn straw hat. "You okay, Lu?" he asked softly.

Luffy nodded against him. "A-huh! I'm fine. I missed you, Sabo."

Sabo grinned against happy tears. "I missed you, too."

They drew away reluctantly, though Sabo couldn't resist laying a hand against Luffy's scarred cheek for a moment before letting go completely. God he'd _missed_ his baby brother, had ached for the day they would cross paths again. The blond knew Luffy could take care of himself – for the most part, but then that's what his crew was for – but even so, it didn't stop him from worrying. Not after what happened to Ace. And besides that, he was a big brother; worrying was in the job description.

A loud sniffle broke the hush that had fallen, and the brothers turned to the cell directly behind them to find several prisoners swiping tears from their eyes or hiding them behind tattooed arms. These guys were apparently seasoned pirates, and yet they were bawling like babies. "You – You, you guys are brothers?! That's – that's so sweet!" A fairly large man with a beard blubbered – Sabo recognized the voice as the one who'd complimented his singing earlier – and three other guys nodded and cried in agreement.

"God, you guys are the best!"

"You're so sweet, so lucky!"

"I wish I had a little brother like that!"

Luffy giggled and Sabo blinked, cheeks coloring again. "Um…thanks," he mumbled.

"Hey blondie!" shouted the woman who'd started the coconut song from a few cells down. "You think you can let us off the hook, too?!"

"Yeah, please?! I got a family to get back to!" shouted another, and soon a new cacophony of voices arose.

"Please, dude! I don't belong here!"

"All I did was steal some bread!"

"It's because of you that I realized my new dream; I wanna be a singer!"

"Come on, man, please!"

"What about all the songs we sang together? Aren't we, like, friends now?"

The whole cell-block was in an uproar, pleas and cries for release bouncing off the walls, and quickly silenced when Sabo let out a piercing whistle. If they didn't shut up, they'd alert the other guards on the upper levels, and then no one would be getting out. Well, maybe Sabo and Luffy depending on how much seastone the buggers had on them.

Once silence reigned, Sabo and Luffy turned to each other. "It won't jeopardize your mission or whatever if you let them out, right?" Luffy asked.

Sabo shrugged. "Nah, not really. In fact, a breakout combined with your own crew coming after you to wreak havoc might actually help me out. And besides…" He grinned widely. "These guys have been the absolute best thing that's happened to me all week aside from seeing you again. So, yeah, let's get them out."

The resulting cheer was almost deafening.

* * *

 ** _BREAKING NEWS_** ** _:_**

 ** _STRAWHAT LUFFY & REVOLUTIONARY CHIEF CAUSE HAVOC AT MARINE BASE_**

 _Reports say that the infamous Monkey D. Luffy and the Revolutionary Chief of Staff staged a mass breakout at a Marine stronghold around midday yesterday. No casualties were reported, but the damages were astronomical to both the base, and later, its reputation when Marine Captain Bond was exposed for atrocities he committed in secret. Witnesses say that fire and smoke erupted from the underground prison, and the two culprits were seen singing and dancing to 'Singing in the Rain' among hundreds of former prisoners. The remaining Strawhat Pirates arrived at the scene moments later and joined in the festivities before eventually vacating the area –_

Dragon stopped reading and carefully set the newspaper down on his desk to look up at the young man stood in parade rest in front of him. The young man's expression was carefully blank, but his eyes were curious if not a little nervous. The Revolutionary leader stared at his second in command for a moment longer, until finally…

"So," he began, leaning back against his chair. "When's your next big performance, and where can I buy tickets?"

Sabo, twenty-two years old and Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary army, burst into a fit of hysterical giggles in front of his boss.

* * *

 **A/N: And there you have it XD More are coming soon, including a full ASL!AU, short stories, and a chapter of No Love is Greater, I PROMISE. In the meantime, please don't hesitate to send me any requests you might have :)**


	12. Chapter 12: Pure Tomfoolery I Assure You

**Pure tomfoolery I assure you**

 **A/N: Modern AU in which Ace and the Whitebeards – let's say they're a gang/family sort of group – are all losers with Vine before it R.I.P and no self-control. Marco has to deal with the consequences whilst Edward Newgate, leader of the Whitebeards and Strongest Man Alive, sits on his ass and laughs.**

 **I have no excuse for this pure nonsense of a fic, and I know I promised other updates but this was just too good not to post immediately XD Also, I'm trying my hand at present tense again, see how it works :)**

 **I OWN NOTHING. ALL VINE INSPIRATIONS DO NOT BELONG TO ME, I'M JUST A SAD PERSON.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Ace**

Ace glares at Thatch from across the bedroom through the dark sunglasses perched on the bridge of his freckled nose. He puffs his chest out, hands on his hips – he's actually wearing a shirt for a change, but it doesn't help that he's stuffed two small cushions down the front to represent boobs. The aforementioned Thatch has done the exact same thing, also wearing sunglasses.

In a high-pitched, stereotypical teenage girl voice, Ace yells at the chef, "I saw you hanging out with Izo yesterday!"

Thatch, stricken, rears back. "Ace, no, it's not what you think –!" he tries to argue, but Ace isn't having any of it.

"I won't hesitate, _bitch!"_ he says, and with that he raises his laser gun – a toy one, and Luffy's to boot, but as long as he puts it back later it's fine – and fires. Thatch goes down with an over-dramatic flail and a 'thump!' as he sprawls across Ace's bedroom floor, dead.

Marco walks in just as the two burst into a fit of childish giggles, breaking character, and Marco stares into the camera on the stand in front of Ace's bed with a long-suffering sigh.

He regrets, severely, the day Haruta had introduced their already crazy family to Vine.

* * *

 **Thatch**

"Story time!"

Thatch's voice a ways behind him is Jozu's only warning before his brothers appears, jumping from the bushes surrounding their estate, running to catch up to him as the bigger man jogs down the street. The chef is holding his phone up, meaning he's filming another one of his crazy Vines. Apparently, Jozu is his next target.

"No matter how fast he ran he could not escape the demon!" Thatch narrates breathlessly as he continues after Jozu who, despite himself, starts to grin. "But he will not let his soul be taken today!"

 _"WAAAAH!"_ Jozu mock-wails in a pitch Izo would be proud of, muscular arms flailing about as he runs a little faster, and Thatch nearly trips he laughs so hard.

Eh, whatever, he'll indulge his brother just this once. To be honest, Thatch's Vines are actually pretty hilarious when they don't involve pranks (on him) and it's almost humbling to be a part of one.

(Again, though, without the pranks.)

* * *

 **Haruta, Thatch, Namur and Rakuyo**

"Disney Pranks, with Friends!"

"Hey, Ace!"

Ace looks up from his prone position across the largest couch in the main room – usually reserved for the big guys like Pops or Jozu, but Ace, being the youngest member at seventeen, is the 'little brother' and as such has 'little brother privileges' like being able to lounge wherever he damn-well pleases without disturbance – and mutters a lazy "Yeah?" in response to Haruta –

– seconds before a sock is thrown at his face.

He splutters. "What the –?"

 ** _"2319! We have a 2319!"_** Haruta shrieks, and before Ace knows it, Thatch, Namur and Rakuyo are on him, spraying him with water guns. As Ace flails and splutters in laughter and vulgar curses that Makino would 'boo' at, he catches a cackling brunette filming the whole damn thing with their phone from behind the couch.

 _"Haruta I'm gonna kick your ass!"_ he shouts over the constant yells of _"2319!",_ and Haruta just laughs in his face and walks away.

* * *

 **Fossa, Thatch and Haruta (and Ace who really didn't want this)**

All Izo wants is a nice, quiet, peaceful day to himself. No pranks, no nonsense, nothing to disturb him from his routine (yes, he has one, as sane people often tend to).

He gets through the morning just fine, and was just stepping out into the garden to check up on the strawberries Thatch was growing when suddenly a good few of his brothers come walking out. They seem to be bored, probably just getting some fresh air, so Izo doesn't think much of it and goes back to tending the berries. They're growing quite big this time, plump and juicy, and Izo thinks Thatch is going to be so pleased –

 ** _"NAAAAAAAAANTS INGONYAAAAAAAMA BAGITHI BABA!"_**

 _"WHAT THE –?"_

Izo jumps about a foot in the air at Fossa's booming voice from the rooftop of their house, and he looks up to see the man standing there, holding up a person by the waist – _good god is that Ace?_ – wearing what looks like a lion's mane. The freckled youth in question simply hangs there between Fossa's massive hands, arms folded over his chest, shoulders hunched and a _deep_ frown on his face, like he clearly doesn't want to be here.

Izo gapes for a moment longer, trying to process _exactly_ what was happening until –

 ** _"IT'S THE CIIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIFE ~"_**

He spins around again to catch the rest of his siblings who'd come out into the garden all bowing dramatically, chatting horribly pronounced Swahili, and it's only then that Izo notices Haruta filming from the outskirts of the garden (and Thatch crouching beside Fossa on the rooftop with his phone, trying and failing through giggles to get Ace to roar, to which the teen scowls at and hisses instead.)

Izo's arms flop against his sides as he sighs. He should've known better than to ask for peace and quiet with a family like his. How Marco deals with it every day is beyond him.

(It doesn't take long for Izo to hop aboard the train, though, and soon he's featured in at least three or four of Thatch's Vines and two of Ace's. It's actually kind of fun.)

* * *

 _(Out of all the Vines and shenanigans that irritate Marco, this particular running gag pisses him absolutely off. And the worst thing is, half the time, he can't help but laugh along with them.)_

 **Pretty Much Everyone (sans the few that are smart and don't wanna die)**

They must've planned this beforehand, because when Marco walks into the massive living room after a long day at work, the majority of his large family is gathered together on the floor or on the couches or armchairs or beanbags, either looking at their phones, watching T.V, playing board games or reading books. Business as usual.

And yet, the moment he walks in, all activity stops and every head turns his way. Even Pops, who's sitting in his specially made armchair reading a book, looks up and smiles in a manner that doesn't sit right with the blond at all.

Marco stops in the doorway, and it's then that he realizes that most of his brothers and sisters have something their mouths like they're holding it in, and there're several cameras around the room –

 _Oh no._

"Oh, well, hey there _Marco!"_ Fossa greets louder than he needs to.

 _"Marco?!"_ the ones without stuff in their mouths exclaim.

And in unison that was almost scary as it was (admittedly) hilarious, the rest of the Whitebeard family – including Izo of all people – spit out what appear to be canned pineapple slices everywhere in a spray of juice and saliva.

 _"Oh grow the hell up, the lot of you!"_ Marco shouts to the room at large, but it's drowned out by the sudden cacophony of hysterical laughter, the loudest of course coming from the man he proudly(?) calls father.

And yet despite how degrading it is to be constantly compared to a fruit, despite his outrage and general exasperation with life, the universe and everything, a smile steals across his lips before he can stop it, and then he's chuckling along with them.

Ah who is he kidding? He loves his disaster of a family, quirks, flaws and all.

* * *

 **A/N ~ I'm not even sorry. This was insanely fun to write. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, and BIG BIG THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I'm glad I was able to live up to your Big brother Sabo Goofy Sabo and Scary Revolutionary Sabo expectations!  
**

 **Until next time! (I PROMISE No Love Is Greater :))**


	13. Chapter 13: Some chance for romance (?)

**A/N~ It's been so long since I've updated this XD but this is something I've wanted to do for a _while,_ and I've only just had the inspiration to do it a few day ago. Also, the last chapters of 'take me to sea' are coming, especially after a beautiful review that brought me to tears :)  
**

 **This one is pure crack, I assure you XD**

 **I OWN NOTHING, BUT I DO FEEL SORRY FOR NAMI HERE XD**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **some chance for romance(?)**

Luffy's staring at a woman on the other side of the street.

At first, this doesn't really strike Nami as odd for Luffy's standards; he tends to stare at a lot of things, sometimes without realizing he's ding it, like when you space out looking at a random spot and some people find it kinda creepy until you snap out of it. He'll stare at things he likes, something he wants (mostly food, mostly meat) or an ass he's ready to kick.

(Sometimes he stares at his hands and rushes to the bathroom to scrub them under the sink until they're raw, and that worries Nami immensely, but that's another story.)

But this time, even Nami has to admit this is pretty odd.

The four of them – Luffy, Nami, Usopp and Sanji – have been browsing/running around the unusually peaceful island for the past two hours shopping for supplies, necessities and indulging in the typical craziness that comes with being a Straw Hat Pirate, though they have yet to run into any Marines despite there being an outpost nearby. At Luffy's behest, they've stopped at a nice café for lunch before meeting up with the others back at the _Sunny_.

Sitting at a round table on the patio outside, Sanji's going over ideas for dinner with Usopp, Nami occasionally adding her two Bellie to the discussion as she sips her smoothie, when she notices Luffy's been oddly quiet. She turns to him, but her query dies in her throat when she finds his head turned away from the conversation, away from his incredibly unhealthy but delicious chocolate ice cream sundae, eyes wide and drawn to the little flower shop on the other side of the street…

…or rather, the young lady sitting on the bench outside the flower shop, reading a book.

There's nothing unusual about the woman that Nami can see; her hair is sunshine blond, one side done up with dainty daisies woven into the bouncy curls. Her eyes are blue like the sea, sparkling in the afternoon sun, her lips red as a rose, a stark contrast against the natural tan of her skin yet fitting all the same. She dons a bright, floral, rockabilly vintage dress that stops just above the knee, sleeveless and backless from what Nami can tell, and her heels, around medium height, are a blinding white to match the cardigan draped around her shoulders.

She's _very_ pretty, no doubt about it; sure her shoulders are a little broad even for a woman, and her crossed legs look smooth but by no means dainty, and her hands…they look _strong,_ strong enough to crush a skull, but she's still incredibly pretty.

Scratch that, she's _beautiful._

But the thing is…Luffy doesn't really care all that much about appearances in that regard. From her experience, her boy captain has no romantic or sexual interest for anyone, not even for Boa Hancock apparently, the most beautiful woman in the world (and to hear that she _proposed_ to Luffy _multiple times_ and he said _no_ says quite a lot.) And yet here he is, staring at a beautiful lady across the street like, still as a statue.

Nami blinks, looks between the lady and Luffy, who has yet to take his eyes off her even once, even after Nami waves a hand in front of his face.

Her eyes widen.

Holy crap.

Is…is Luffy _attracted_ to someone?

Luffy is… _smitten?!_

Mouth gaping in a soundless gasp, Nami frantically smacks Sanji and Usopp on their shoulders to get their attention, buzzing with excitement and girlish glee. Usopp yelps while Sanji snaps to attention, and before they can get a word out she gestures Luffy, and then gestures the lady still reading her book, oblivious to their captain's captivated staring.

The cook and the sniper do what she did; look at Luffy, then the lady, then Luffy again. Realization dawns, and their jaws go slack, eyes popping wider than dinnerplates. "No way," Usopp gasps.

Nami nods, a manic grin taking her face over. "I know."

"Holy crap," Sanji snickers before he can slap a hand over his mouth.

Nami nods harder. "I _know."_

Her two boys share an impossible grin, sniggering like school kids at the idea that their friend, their captain, might just be _smitten_ with a lady like something out of a romantic novel; the young lad looks and spies a fair maiden from afar, sitting in the golden rays of the midday sun, non the wiser of the spark she's created in the eye of –

(Oh god she thinks she might be _sick,_ both from the cheese of that thought alone and of sheer incredulity, because – _Luffy?_ In _love?!)_

This is too good to pass up. He needs to go talk to her, right now, or Nami will die.

She bumps her elbow against Luffy's shoulder. "She sure is pretty, isn't she?" she asks, trying to hide her grin as she sips her smoothie again.

Luffy finally shakes out of his trance, blinking rapidly, and looks at his grinning crew-mates one by one. He raises a brow. "…oh…um…who?" he asks, like it isn't _obvious_ holy crap who knew Luffy could be this _adorable_?

Usopp and Sanji grin all the harder, leaning in. "You _know,_ " Usopp stage whispers, nodding his head in the direction of the lady on the bench. _"Her._ She's beautiful, don't you think?"

"I'll say," Sanji says dreamily, hearts in his eyes as he looks across the street, hands clasped over his heart like he might drop dead on the spot with adoration for a stranger. "She's something out of a book! Striking beauty and innocence incarnate, and yet so strong! Oh how my heart swoons and aches just to witness such rare beauty from afar ~!"

Sanji's general weirdness notwithstanding, Luffy blinks hard, staring at them all like they're speaking in tongues or something. "…okaaaaay," he says slowly, turning back to the lady. He shrugs. "I guess…the dress is pretty, whatever."

"You _guess?"_ Nami chokes, shaking her head; young love, more like _dumb_ love. "You've only been ogling at her for, what, a good five minutes, Luffy? You're not pulling one over us, kiddo, you're _totally_ attracted to her!"

 _That_ gets the reaction she's been waiting for as Luffy whirls on her, eyes wide, and an honest to god _blush_ turns his cheeks redder than his open shirt.

" _What?! No!"_ he cries, utterly mortified, shaking his head hard. "I'm not – no way! That's – that's so _weird,_ I'd never –!"

"Oh Luffy, don't be _shy!"_ Nami coos, pinching Luffy's cheek hard enough to make even the rubber man wince as the skin slaps back into place. "There's nothing weird about having a little crush, we've all been there before. It's only natural!"

"Unless you're Sanji, who has a crush on just about every other human on the planet with boobs," Usopp mutters, which is quickly followed by another pained yelp as Sanji kicks his shin under the table. The long-nosed sniper glares at the cook, who pretends not to notice as he takes a swing of his milkshake.

Nami rolls her eyes at the usual banter before turning back to Luffy, who's looking more and more awkward by the minute, eyes flicking between his nakama and the lady behind him, and damn if that's not the most endearing thing ever; who knew one of the most feared pirates right now in the New World could be so bashful?

An idea springs to mind, and Nami's grin is catlike as the moniker of her Wanted poster.

She leans in close to her baffled captain. "Why don't you go over there and talk to her? Introduce yourself, maybe buy her a drink? Get her deets so you two can maybe hook up later tonight?" she asks.

Luffy stares at her like she's out of her mind, something she takes great offense to but lets it slide in the name of romance. _"Hell no!"_ he cries.

"Or if you don't want to, one of us could go over and ask her for you," Sanji offers, actually willing to let Luffy have this one rather than drop to his knees and pound the ground with his fist in jealous agony like he did with Shirahoshi, and Nami is proud of him for that.

But Luffy shakes his head again in earnest, getting redder and redder until his face is practically a tomato. "I'm _not_ gonna ask – no, that's – _why're_ you guys –?"

"Because, Luffy," Usopp reaches out, laying his hands over Luffy's, and though his smile is wide and mischievous, his eyes are kind and brotherly affectionate as ever, "we care about you and your feelings, especially if they're the romantic kind! Things like this don't happen every day – unless you're Sanji –"

"Do you _want_ to eat tonight?"

"– so you _can't_ let it pass you by! Let us do this for you, Lu, and don't worry, we'll have your back no matter what!" He winks. "That's what nakama do, am I right?"

Nami nods eagerly, and despite the earlier jab, Sanji nods too, a lopsided smirk on his face that hides a truly fond look the cook will never admit to aloud.

Luffy looks somewhat touched by their words, their willingness to help him, but still manages to look utterly _mortified_ as he ducks his head, straw hat hiding his cherry face from view. His forehead meets the table, and he lets out a loud ground that screams of despair and hopelessness. Nami can't help herself; she throws her head back and cackles gleefully, shortly followed by Usopp, uncaring of the attention they draw.

That is, until the noise attracts the attention of the girl on the bench.

She blinks, startled out of her own little world, and lifts her head. Now Nami can see the hint of green in her blue eyes as the sun hits it, and its incredibly enchanting. The young woman looks around for the source of the noise – Usopp is egging Luffy on, telling him to "go for it already before she leaves!" – until finally, she spots them.

To Nami's surprise, she doesn't roll her eyes and go back to her book like the navigator expects her to. Instead, her eyes widen, jaw falling open in something akin to shock, disbelief – she recognizes them. Nami debates on the pros and cons of this, but there's no fear in her eyes so that's already a good sign –

"Uh oh, Luffy~" Sanji practically sing-songs, catching the straw hatted captain's attention as his lifts his face from the table. Sanji inclines his head over to the lady, and Luffy turns, meets her gaze, and the _look on his face,_ like he wants to scream into the void or throw himself into it, is just _too much._

Finally, Nami decides to have mercy on the younger man and gets up. He squeaks, horrified – "Waitwaitwait, Nami, what're you doing?!" – and Nami just grins down at him.

"Don't worry, I'll just ask her if she wants to sit with us, Sanji can buy her a drink, and maybe you two can strike a conversation!" She sticks her tongue out cheekily. "I'll be right back~!"

She ignores Luffy's pleas, which are quickly drowned out by Usopp's laughter as he holds Luffy back, as she saunters over to the lady. She straightens up in her seat, dog-earing her page and closing her book, setting it on her lap. She's still not afraid or apprehensive whatsoever, mostly surprised, which is good.

"Hey there," Nami greets with a friendly wave. "Sorry if we disturbed you, my crew-mates and I can be a little loud."

The lady blinks at Nami for a moment, and then smiles politely with a shake of her head. "Oh, um, no, not at all," she says – her voice is only slightly deeper than Nami expected, but silvery nonetheless, almost like bell chimes – "I was just about finished with the chapter anyways. You're Cat Burglar Nami, aren't you? One of the Straw Hat Pirates."

Nami nods proudly. "The one and only. You've probably figured out by now that _he_ –" she half-turns and jerks her thumb at Luffy, watching them from under the brim of his hat which he's pulling over his head like he wants to disappear into it "– is our captain, Straw Hat Luffy himself. He might not look like much, but I assure you –"

"No need for that," the lady giggles sweetly, head cocked sideways as she catches Luffy's eye and smiles. "I know what that troublemaker's been up to – who doesn't, with all the chaos he's caused in the last few months alone?"

"You have _no_ idea," Nami sighs fondly, but quickly diverts the conversation; time to cut to the chase. "Sorry to spring this up on you, but my captain wanted to ask if you'd like to come sit with us. He'd ask you himself, but he's a little tongue-tied at the minute. We'll be happy to buy you a drink, too."

The lady blinks at Nami, surprised. "Who, me? Sit with the infamous Straw Hat Pirates?"

"Absolutely."

Slowly but surely, the lady beams bright as anything, and something niggles strangely with familiarity in the back of Nami's mind at the sight of it. "I'd love to, if you're sure that's alright. I mean, I don't want to mooch off your treasury or anything –"

"Oh no, I insist!" Nami interjects, holding a hand out to help the lady to her feet – and holy _heck_ she's tall, even without the heels, but whatever – "You're not mooching off anyone…except Sanji, 'cos he's buying."

The lady chuckles as they loop arms and make their way over to their table; Sanji's already out of his chair, offering it to the lady, while Usopp waves at her with a charming smile. Luffy's still trying to hide in his hat, and only partially succeeding.

She thanks Sanji as she sits down, who twirls and preens under her smile in his typical Sanji style, and then she turns to Luffy. "Hello, Straw Hat Luffy. It's a pleasure to meet you in person. I've heard _so_ much about you and your crew. You're practically celebrities!"

Usopp nudges Luffy in the side, and their captain finally looks to at her, face red as blood. The lady smiles at him (something that Nami will realize _much_ later is an entirely teasing and sinister thing and not at all innocent and sweet). Luffy tries to smile back – it comes out awkward and wobbly, and the rest of them stifle sniggers.

* * *

The lady's name is Sally Obas – what a freaking cute name – and she's a journalist of all things. Normally this would ring alarm bells for Nami, but during lunch, she never asks for any personal details, doesn't even take out a notepad or a camera from her bulging handbag; she's incredibly pleasant to hang around with, too. She's polite, gracious, has a great sense of humor, and keeps sneaking glances at their bashful captain, which is adorable.

No doubt she's caught onto the fact he's found her attractive. Maybe, if Nami's reading her right, she's reciprocating!

 _This is the best thing ever._

They invite her back to the ship to meet the rest of the crew, and she readily accepts. At Usopp's encouraging, Luffy takes her arm like a gentleman, earning another sweet smile from Sally and a "you're so _charming,_ Captain Luffy!", and he leads her to where they're docked, his nakama trailing behind. Sally leans down to whisper something in Luffy's ear, and Luffy _instantly_ ducks his head down and blushes so hard his head might explode.

Nami can't take it. It's too much for her poor heart to bear, and she's not even a romantic for crying out loud!

They reach the ship, where the others are already waiting. Even Zoro's here, big surprise – she _knew_ Chopper would take care of their direction-challenged swordsman.

Brook is the first to greet them at the gangplank, a cheery laugh bubbling from his chest – if he had one, _yohoho_ – but he freezes at the sight of Sally hanging off Luffy's right arm. If he had eyes, they'd be sparkling.

"Oh my, who is this charming young woman?" he asks, trotting right up to their guest who doesn't even flinch at the sight of a walking, talking skeleton. "She's _lovely_!"

" _This,"_ Nami slides over smoothly, draping her arm around Sally's shoulders and grinning far too wide to be sane but not caring as Brook's preening lures the rest of the crew onto the deck in curiosity, "is Miss Obas Sally. She's the local journalist here. We got talking back at the café, and she's a _huge_ fan of Straw Hat Luffy."

She raises her brows suggestively. Behind her, Sanji and Usopp are no doubt doing the same.

Zoro's brows furrow as he regards the woman in their midst. Chopper, though it takes him a minute, gasps as his eyes grow wide, sparkling with awe. Robin looks curious, looking Sally up and down with thoughtful cerulean eyes. Franky full-on laughs, head thrown back and everything as he crows in delight for Luffy. And Brook –

" _Oooohhh_ I see," the skeleton chuckles, bumping Luffy with his bony elbow. "You're very lucky to have such a charming 'fan', Luffy! _Yohohoho!"_

Luffy frowns deeply and groans, utterly miserable.

Beside him, Sally giggles again, batting a hand at Brook. "Oh _please,_ you're too kind!" she says. "It's a pleasure to meet you, you're all so wonderful! Especially the famous Soul King; I've listened to _all_ of your songs, they're the best!"

Pink touches Brook's cheekbones at her praise – Nami still doesn't understand how it's possible, but whatever. " _Yohoho!_ Why thank you very much, madam. It's always nice to see fans of my work, even after I've 'retired', so to speak. Ah, speaking of seeing things, I have a question for you; would you be _ever_ so kind as to show me your panties?"

Nami is already gearing up for a punishing punch to the idiot's bony jaw because he never freaking learns.

But then Sally _grins._

"Oh, aren't you a bold one!" she laughs, and she unhooks herself from Luffy to _bend down_ and reach for the tip of her dress. "Well, if you insist~"

 ** _"NO!"_** Nami screeches in tandem with almost everybody else, aside from Brook, who's nose begins to bleed. Sanji sends him flying into the mast with a flaming kick to the skull.

Luffy stares at Sally the same way he stares at people who try to take him on, a silent 'what the hell are you _doing?_ ' in his eyes and in the quirk of his brow. Sally blushes and offers her apologies, she wasn't _really_ going to do it she swears!

(Nami's too busy trying to get her heart back under control to notice the look Sally sends Robin and Zoro from the corner of her eye. All she does is smile, eyes twinkling with mischief and mayhem only certain _someone's_ can ever hope to achieve.

Hence why Nami and everyone else – apart from Luffy, who's still grumbling under his breath – are incredibly confused and stunned when their stoic swordsman and their reserved archaeologist suddenly burst into gales of laughter).

* * *

It's when a group of cocky Marines show up that it finally happens.

After dinner is finished – in which Sally and Luffy sit together and Nami and the others (aside from a smirking Zoro and a giggling Robin) not-so-discreetly coo at the adorable pair they make – Franky suggests they sail around the island to watch the sun set behind the mountains, y'know, romantic crap. Everyone agrees, and soon they've sailed from the docks, watching as the sky turns a fiery red in the distance.

It really is beautiful, Nami admits from her spot by the mast. And to her delight, Sally and Luffy are standing side by side at the starboard railing, _Luffy laying his head on Sally's shoulder_ as they watch the sun go down together, talking in low tones and sharing soft smiles.

Squealing softly and bouncing in place like a bunny on a carrot high, Nami spins to Usopp (they've only been spying on the two non-stop since they brought Sally to the ship) and she high-fives her best friend and honorary brother.

It's finally happening. Luffy's got a girlfriend. An _actual girlfriend._ All thanks to Nami's input and the assistance of their amazing nakama.

What a perfect end to a perfect day.

And then the canon fire starts.

" _All hands on deck!"_ Brook calls from the speakers in the crows nest. _"Marine vessel on the port bow!"_

 _Aw man._

Well, they _are_ the Straw Hat pirates; it wouldn't be a normal day without _some_ form of confrontation or crazy fight. So it's without hesitation that the others quickly pile onto the deck, Franky and Usopp manning the canons, Zoro with his swords at the ready, Chopper already morphing into his Kung Fu Point.

Luffy and Sally hurry from the starboard rail together to join them, and that's when Nami, as she's spinning her Clima-tact in preparation for the inevitable brawl, is hit with a startling revelation.

With Sally on board, she's in incredible danger; she's just an innocent journalist, there's no way they can let her stay out here when the Marines get near enough to board. She might get caught in the crossfire and end up badly injured or be mistaken for a member of the crew and get arrested, or _worse._

After this, she might even decide that hanging out with Luffy is too much for her and _leave_ him right as he's finally warmed up to the idea of romance _. No!_ Freaking Marines, ruining a perfectly romantic –

"Aw, man," groans an unfamiliar voice on Nami's right, near where Sally stands beside Luffy. "And right when I was ready to reveal myself. I had it all planned and everything, it was gonna be hilarious. Well, I suppose there's no helping it now."

Nami blinks. She shoots Usopp and Franky a perplexed glance on her left. They both shrug and shake their heads, bewildered as she is.

 _Who said that? That sounded like a man, but –_

Sally disappears from Luffy's side in a flash and jumps onto the railing with relative ease. Her back to the gawking crew, her curly hair falls free from its pins, her dress fluttering in the slight breeze like a cape, her stance sure and strong on the Adams' wood railing despite the heels. Looking at her now, she's nothing like the dainty lady they'd met at the café.

Here, she gives off the incredible aura of a warrior, a _soldier_ …

She half-turns to look down at Luffy, and her grin has no trace of the sweet journalist who'd taken a fancy to her captain – this grin is too confident, _cocky,_ and oh so familiar that Nami's brain burns trying to place where she's seen it before –

"Hope you don't mind if I take down these rookies out for you, Lu," she says.

Nami drops her weapon the same time Usopp, Brook, Chopper and Franky do, and Sanji lowers his leg, jaw gaping and eyes the size of saucers, because that voice is _male._

"Nah, it's okay," Luffy replies with a shrug, lazily folding his arms over his scarred chest. The bashful, grumbling captain has vanished, replaced with the carefree, meat-loving future king they know and love. "They're the ones you're after, right? Don't wanna jeopardize your mission or whatever, so it's fine if you take 'em this time."

And then Luffy grins.

Suddenly, it all falls into place for Nami, leaving her breathless and floored.

She knows Sally's(?) grin because _she sees it every day._

The same recklessness and joyful abandon in the face of conflict she sees in Luffy, she also sees in Sally. Maybe not on the same face, but on the face of another who shares the same mannerisms, shares some of the same memories of a time long gone, who shares a bond stronger than blood and marring scars and war and even death –

 _Oh. Oh holy crap._

Sally turns back to the approaching Marine vessel, and her right hand bursts into _flames._

Nami can't pick her jaw up from the grass.

 _Sally isn't a journalist._

She raises her burning fist, her stance wide and firm.

 _Sally isn't even Sally._

She draws her fist back, grinning madly with excitement.

 _Sally is a_ _ **man.**_

 ** _"FIRE FIST!"_**

A giant plume of searing _heat_ shoots across the waters, crashing into the ship head-on. Marines scream and flail helplessly, and only a few manage to jump off their burning/sinking vessel and into the relative safety of the ocean.

All of this unfolds in the time it takes for Nami and the others (who _aren't_ smirking or laughing with glee at the display of sheer power) that 'Sally' is not 'Sally'.

Sally is _Sabo._

All afternoon, Nami has been trying to set Luffy up with his **_brother._**

* * *

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU – YOU FREAKING **_TURD_** _!_ "

The blond in their midst – along with Zoro, Robin and even Luffy for the first time since this afternoon – is too busy laughing his ass off to do any more than shield himself from Nami's fists as she bats at him in fury. Gone is the dress, the heels, the makeup covering his entire face and hiding the scar marring his left eye that would've given him away; Sally – or rather _Sabo the freaking No. 2 of the Revolutionary Army_ – now dons a simple blue button down, a loose cravat, light blue pants and black boots, all of which he'd stuffed in the 'handbag' he carried with him from the café. Even his hat and coat and gloves are in there.

As it turns out, Sabo had been in the middle of a mission when they'd spotted him on the bench; he was waiting for Koala, his partner, to give him the signal to head over to the small Marine outpost – evidently, the captain running the post was as corrupt as they come, and the only reason the Straw Hat's visit has been peaceful until now is because at the time, the Marines were too busy searching for the intruders – aka, Sabo's team – to bother terrorizing the civilians. Donning a disguise and waiting for his chance to do some digging himself was his best option; blending in with the crowds but also looking good enough to maybe grab a perverted Marine's attention should he cross one and get some info out of him.

He hadn't expected the Straw Hats to be sitting right across from him, though, and when he'd seen the looks Sanji, Nami and Usopp were sending him and Luffy, the little bastard decided to have some fun.

All those smiles, the little whispers and the knowing looks Nami had missed – and worse, Robin and Zoro _knew_ all along, and said nothing! His fake last name was his first name _backwards_ for crying out loud!

Hell, _Luffy_ had known from the very beginning – _that's_ why he was so mortified and miserable at the idea of chatting her – _him_ \- up. To make it worse, Sabo was teasing him the entire time, right up until the sunset where they could just enjoy being together after so long apart.

(The only reason Nami isn't kicking Luffy's ass his because they never really gave him the chance to explain anything.)

All this time, Nami thought she was doing her captain a favor, getting him acquainted with a lady he'd been captivated by on the street, _finally_ getting him invested into something other than destruction or pirates or fighting or even meat. Instead, she'd been setting him up with his own older brother!

And the bastard is _still laughing._

"I-I'm sorry – I'm sorry, please stop, I'm sorry," Sabo wheezes, finally catching Nami's wrists and halting her assault. "I swear, I was gonna tell you at first, I really was –"

"Then why the hell didn't you in the first place?!" Usopp screeches from the other side of the galley table, where the whole crew is gathered for an explanation (though Sanji has long since dropped semi-dead on the table, murmuring under his breath 'this is just like freakin' Kamebaka kingdom all over again goddammit', and Brook facing the corner, a depressed aura surrounding him as he mutters 'I asked to see his _panties'_ ).

Sabo grins at their sniper, wholly unrepentant – "Because the look on my little brother's face was a delight and wonder forever and I couldn't help myself," he says, letting go of Nami to instead drape his arms around Luffy's shoulders in a loose hug, which Luffy eagerly accepts now that he's not being cooed and grinned at suggestively by his crew. Sabo lets his chin drop on Luffy's hat-less head, grinning into the mane of black hair. "I mean, Luffy has almost no shame most of the time as you know, so to see him as mortified as he was when you tried to get him to talk to me – I just _had_ to."

Luffy cranes his neck to look up at Sabo, grinning fit to burst as he hangs onto the arms encircling him. "I'm still gonna get you for that, y'know," he says.

Sabo sticks his tongue out at him. "I'd like to see you try, squirt. I regret nothing."

From her seat at the head of the table, Robin chuckles at their friendly banter. "Of course you don't. You always did give everyone grief back when I was at Baltigo," she says, laying her chin in her palm. "To be honest, if it weren't for the look you gave me when you came aboard, I wouldn't have realized it was you; you really outdid yourself this time, Sabo. I can't help but feel proud of you."

"I agree," Zoro adds, and _that's_ a freaking surprise. "But what gave you away for me was your Voice; I remembered how it felt to have you standing in the shack on Dressrosa, and I felt it the second you came aboard the _Sunny_ ; you looked like a woman, but you carried yourself like a soldier, a fighter."

And then the swordsman grins, shark-like and impressed. "And no journalist I've ever seen carries a concealed knife under her skirt – not like the one _you_ have – and wields it like a pro."

(And it's true; some of the Marines had managed to get aboard even after Sabo destroyed their ship, and whilst the fight was hilariously brief, there were a few eager ones that had gone after the supposed damsel only to get a rather nasty surprise when said damsel lifted her skirt and pulled out a goddamned _knife_ from the strap around his leg.

All of them were taken down in an instant, dead or on their way to dying. It was frightening, to say the least, but incredibly impressive).

Sabo spins on his heel to face Robin and Zoro, taking a giggling Luffy with him, still trapped in his arms like teddy bear in a child's happy embrace, and he grins. "This coming from the Light of the Revolution _and_ the future greatest swordsman in the world? You flatter me."

 _"WOW!_ I agree with Robin and Zoro-bro," Franky chortles, striking his signature pose. "You looked _super_ ladylike! If it hadn't been for the Marines crashin' the party, I never would've noticed."

"I'm surprised _I_ didn't notice, either," Chopper says, a hoof tapping his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, your scent should've given you away immediately. Then again, you _were_ wearing a strong perfume, maybe _that_ got in the way..."

"Well, regardless," Usopp sighs, resigned and accepting of the fact they've been thoroughly schooled, "you really had us going. I'd say I'm disappointed but I can't really bring myself to feel that way; I'm just impressed you managed to pull off the act so perfectly."

Sabo shrugs at the sniper. "Well, practice makes perfect, I suppose. Though I'll work on masking my _Haki_ a little more, thanks for bringing that up, Zoro."

At that, Sanji's head finally snaps up from the table, and he pins Sabo with a gaze that's almost fearful. "Wait…are you saying you do this sort of thing _often?"_ he asks. "Like…cross-dressing or whatever?"

The Revolutionary shrugs again, though his gaze on Sanji is cool with a touch of something that suggests an unpleasant surprise if the wrong thing comes out of the cook's mouth. "Yeah. I go in disguise from time to time when its required; Iva does my hair and makeup usually, and Koala picks out the appropriate threads. The performance is all me, though; I'm given creative liberty in that regard. Sometimes I just do it 'cos it's fun, and in _this_ case, it really was," he says, snickering when Luffy mutters under his breath about embarrassing him in front of his crew.

Sanji looks slightly better, but still a little disturbed (the memories of his two years in 'Hell' are probably resurfacing). The others, however, are equal parts confused and impressed by Sabo's ability to not only blend in and yet stand out, to not only act a part and stick to it so flawlessly that only his Haki might give him away, but by his ability to embarrass _Luffy_ ; for a guy with little to no shame, that's truly saying something.

Nami, however, is just done.

All this time, all the hopes she had for her captain are dashed in a matter of seconds, leaving her more than a little pissed off; her pride is chipped, too, at being duped by a pretty face when it's usually the other way around.

She lets out a heavy sigh, shaking her head. "Whatever. Cross-dressing spies, dumb older brothers – I don't even care anymore," she spins on her heel, heading out of the galley. "I'm done, I'm going to bed."

"Would it help if I said I really am sorry?" Sabo calls after her, and she can tell he's still grinning and doesn't really mean it, so she goes ahead and shouts –

 _"Bite me!"_

The door slams shut behind her, muffling Luffy and Sabo's laughter as she stomps down to the deck.

It's not until she reaches her room that she calms down and lays down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling as she recalls the pure _joy_ on Luffy's face as Sabo reached out to hug him from behind, the smile wide enough to stretch on forever and warm an arctic heart…

He was happier in his brother's arms in that moment than he'd been all day in the company of 'Sally'.

Again, Nami shakes her head and sighs, but this time, a resigned but hopelessly fond smile graces her lips.

Maybe it's not so bad that Luffy doesn't have a romantic interest in people yet. He's just as content in the embrace of his crew, his family.

 _Who the hell needs romance?_ Nami decides as she listens to Luffy's laughter echoing above her on the deck, where he's no doubt dragging a compliant Sabo around the ship for a tour.

Now _this_ , is the perfect end to a weird, crazy, _perfect_ day.

* * *

 **A/N~ Romance is overrated XD (coming from someone who's had two failed attempts at romance and being bitter :( XD)  
**

 **I hope you like it, and more are on the way. If you have requests or have made some, I will absolutely get on that XD**


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